As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information about the exhibition. In your letter: - ask about the contents of the exhibition - ask for its opening and closing dates - ask whether any discounts are available
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am administering a group of pupils to visit the historical exhibition in Shaftesbury, UK next month. This tour will be a part of our school activities to encourage young students to participate in social surveys and grow their interest in history. I would really appreciate it if you could forward me some information regarding the exhibition. First of all, when the exhibition will be held and what are the daily opening hours? Secondly, is the exhibition suitable for the fourth and fifth graders? Please notify me about the theme and exhibited objects on display. This would help me better explain to my students the content during our trip. Finally, what are the other activities being held in connection with the exhibition? I am planning to bring over twenty students to the exhibition. So I would like to inquire whether we are eligible for any discount on entrance tickets. If there is no general discount, could you please arrange one for students? Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Sarah Johnson
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: administering Suggested revision: organising Why it matters: ‘Organising’ is the natural verb for arranging a group visit.
- 2. Improve word choice Original: grow Suggested revision: develop Why it matters: ‘Develop an interest’ is the standard collocation in this context.
- 3. Choose precise verb Original: forward Suggested revision: send Why it matters: ‘Send’ is clearer because the recipient is being asked to provide information directly.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: exhibited objects on display Suggested revision: objects on display Why it matters: ‘Exhibited’ and ‘on display’ repeat the same meaning.
- 5. Place adverb naturally Original: help me better explain to my students Suggested revision: help me explain more clearly to my students Why it matters: This placement and wording express the intended manner more naturally.
- 6. Use formal connector Original: So I would like to inquire Suggested revision: Therefore, I would like to inquire Why it matters: ‘Therefore’ links the group size to the discount request in a more formal register.
- 7. Use concise phrasing Original: eligible for any discount on entrance tickets Suggested revision: eligible for a group discount on admission Why it matters: This wording identifies the relevant type of discount more directly.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: arrange one for students Suggested revision: offer a student discount Why it matters: The revision makes the requested concession explicit.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: First of all, when the exhibition will be held and what are the daily opening hours? Suggested revision: First of all, when will the exhibition be held, and what will its daily opening hours be? Why it matters: Direct questions require subject–auxiliary inversion in both coordinated clauses.
- 10. Separate request sections Suggested revision: Divide the letter into short paragraphs for the purpose, exhibition details, dates and hours, discount request, and closing. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the three required requests easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- administering organising
- grow develop
- forward send
- exhibited objects on display objects on display
- help me better explain to my students help me explain more clearly to my students
- So I would like to inquire Therefore, I would like to inquire
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter fully addresses all three requests in a consistently polite formal tone, and the purpose is clear from the outset. Its main limitation is presentation: all content is compressed into one block, while a few awkward expressions and one malformed question reduce polish. Divide the requests into logical paragraphs and proofread question structure and collocations to make the response easier to follow and more natural.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are covered directly, and the formal tone is consistently appropriate.
Develop the requested closing-date information a little more explicitly by asking for the precise final exhibition date.
Coherence and Cohesion
The requests progress logically and are easy to follow, but the entire letter is presented as one continuous paragraph.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, exhibition details, and ticket enquiry instead of relying mainly on sequencing expressions.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a good range of relevant formal vocabulary, though several phrases such as administering a group and exhibited objects on display sound awkward or redundant.
Choose more natural collocations, such as organising a group and items on display, while removing unnecessary repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of sentence forms is handled accurately overall, with only a small number of non-impeding errors.
Correct the mixed question structure to when will the exhibition be held and what are the daily opening hours.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information about the exhibition. In your letter:
- ask about the contents of the exhibition
- ask for its opening and closing dates
- ask whether any discounts are available
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.