You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter: - introduce yourself - describe the problems - explain what type of room you would prefer
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request that you changerequest you to change my current accommodation arrangement in the college hostel and allow me to moveour college hostel, and let me move into another room which is conducive to studyingfavourable for studies and pleasant to live in. I am Erica Garcia, a science majora science major student at the collegein your college, and I reside in the college hostel in room F-412. I find it very challenging to live and study in this room. First of all, the room is quite too small to accommodate two studentssmall to accommodate two students. Two beds and other necessary furniture in this room leave no freeopen space, and we hardly have enough spacehardly get space to walk or move in this room. Because of that, we have been hurt several timeswe were hurt several times by the sharp corners of the iron beds. The lack of proper ventilation facilities and the scarcityfacilities, and the scarcity of natural sunlight and fresh air are two big issues with this room. We are bound to use the electric lightslight 24 hours a day. It is quite suffocating, and because of this, I can not concentrate on my studies. Therefore, I humbly request you to allow me to move to another roomallow me any other room that has adequate ventilationwhere at least a proper ventilation facility is present. I am hoping that you would let me move into another room, preferably a large one, before my final examinationsmy semester final in October. I am looking forward to your positive response. Yours faithfully, Erica Garcia
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response fulfils the request convincingly by identifying the writer, explaining several serious room problems, and specifying a preferred replacement in an appropriately respectful tone. Its main limitations are the single-block presentation and several unnatural collocations or repeated phrases. Organise the material into distinct paragraphs and refine awkward expressions so that the strong content reads more fluently and professionally.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed directly and developed with convincing details about space, safety, ventilation, and the preferred room.
Make the requested outcome even more precise by stating whether the replacement must be both larger and better ventilated.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from identification through the problems to the request, although the lack of visible paragraph divisions reduces readability.
Separate the introduction, room problems, and requested solution into clear paragraphs and reduce repeated references to this room.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied and specific, but expressions such as favourable for studies and semester final are not fully natural.
Use more idiomatic collocations, such as suitable for studying and final examinations, while avoiding repetition of room and facility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally controlled, though several constructions and punctuation choices are awkward or inaccurate.
Revise structures such as request you to change and remove unnecessary commas to make complex sentences more natural and precise.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- describe the problems
- explain what type of room you would prefer
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.