You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved. Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter: - say in general - what you like about shopping in your area - say what is wrong with the facilities - suggest how they can be improved
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to express my opinion about the local shopping area where I frequently go shopping. They offer some really nice amenities but there are still scopes for improvements. I am hoping you would publish it in your newspaper so that the market authority learn about it and take initiatives to develop the area. To start with, the Agora Community Shopping Complex is the largest shopping market in our town where several thousand people shop every day. The strictly monitored market price and the availability of the products under a single roof are two attractive aspects of this market. Moreover, I like the way the shops are arranged on each floor. Overall, I am happy with this market and visit it almost twice to thrice each month. Regrettably, most of the shoppers still do not accept international credit cards. I have seen many tourists suffer due to this. Since this is a tourists area and many foreigners visit this market, international credit cards should be accepted by all merchants. Besides, the food court area is really compact and cannot serve many customers at a time. One has to stand in a cue for a long even for a cup of tea! This area should be extended and more food businesses should be encouraged to open new shops for the convenience of shoppers. I think your newspaper is widely read in our area and if you run a poll regarding the issues I mentioned, you will find a realistic picture of it. Please publish an editorial and help improve the local people's shopping experience. Thank you in advance for giving the matter your attention. Yours faithfully, Mark Almond
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid word repetition Original: where I frequently go shopping Suggested revision: where I frequently shop Why it matters: This removes the repeated use of “shopping” without changing the meaning.
- 2. Fix pronoun agreement Original: They offer Suggested revision: It offers Why it matters: The pronoun should agree with the singular “shopping area”.
- 3. Correct fixed phrase Original: scopes for improvements Suggested revision: scope for improvement Why it matters: “Scope for improvement” is the standard uncountable expression.
- 4. Clarify the request Original: I am hoping you would publish it Suggested revision: I hope you will publish these concerns Why it matters: This form makes the request direct and gives the object a clear referent.
- 5. Fix subject agreement Original: the market authority learn Suggested revision: the market authorities learn Why it matters: A plural institutional group requires the plural noun “authorities”.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: take initiatives Suggested revision: take steps Why it matters: “Take steps” is the more natural collocation for acting to improve the area.
- 7. Avoid redundancy Original: shopping market Suggested revision: shopping centre Why it matters: “Shopping market” is repetitive and less natural in this context.
- 8. Use plural prices Original: The strictly monitored market price Suggested revision: The strictly monitored prices Why it matters: The statement refers generally to the prices of multiple products.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: the products Suggested revision: products Why it matters: The general reference to merchandise does not require “the”.
- 10. Correct frequency phrase Original: twice to thrice Suggested revision: two or three times Why it matters: Use “two or three times” to express this frequency in standard English.
- 11. Name the right agent Original: most of the shoppers still do not accept Suggested revision: most shops still do not accept Why it matters: Shops or merchants, rather than shoppers, accept customers’ credit cards.
- 12. Use noun modifier Original: a tourists area Suggested revision: a tourist area Why it matters: The singular noun “tourist” functions as the modifier before “area”.
Suggested Rewrites
- where I frequently go shopping where I frequently shop
- They offer It offers
- scopes for improvements scope for improvement
- I am hoping you would publish it I hope you will publish these concerns
- the market authority learn the market authorities learn
- take initiatives take steps
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter achieves its public-facing purpose well by balancing specific strengths of the shopping complex with two clearly explained problems and practical remedies. Its main weakness is that all content appears in one dense paragraph, while several inaccurate word choices and grammatical slips lessen the authority of the formal register. Prioritise clear paragraphing, then edit collocations and agreement carefully for a more polished submission.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is explicit, the positive features and facility problems are well developed, and each problem is matched with a relevant improvement.
Make the requested newspaper action slightly more concise so the focus remains firmly on the facilities and proposed solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from context and advantages to problems, solutions, and a call for action, but there are no visible paragraph divisions.
Give the introduction, positive features, each problem-solution pair, and conclusion their own purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad formal vocabulary, but phrases such as 'scopes for improvements,' 'tourists area,' and 'stand in a cue' are inaccurate.
Proofread collocations and word forms, using natural alternatives such as 'scope for improvement,' 'tourist area,' and 'wait in a queue.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used successfully, although agreement, article, and noun-form errors recur without obscuring meaning.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun modification carefully, particularly in phrases such as 'the market authority learns' and 'a tourist area.'
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved. Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter:
- say in general
- what you like about shopping in your area
- say what is wrong with the facilities
- suggest how they can be improved
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.