You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved. Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter: - say in general - what you like about shopping in your area - say what is wrong with the facilities - suggest how they can be improved
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a regular reader of your newspaper, and I am writing this letter to express my opinion about the local shops in our area where I like to do my shopping. I hope that you would be kind enough to publish these comments of mine so that the proper authority can look into the matters and take appropriate actions. Generally speaking, the shops and the shopping facilities in our area are not really that bad since they all try to offer a great shopping experience to their customers. In fact, there is no shortage of amenities such as great lighting systems, facilities for clean drinking water and a great air conditioning system. However, when it comes to proper hygiene, enough parking spaces and security (especially, when shopping at night), I am afraid that most of our shopping facilities are not up to the standards. Now, I understand that these problems will not get fixed overnight, but if our local government allocates some extra budgets in taking care of these issues while pushing the shop owners to be more proactive, I think that most of these issues would be resolved. Thank you for your attention. Yours faithfully, Rebecca Hall
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name authorities naturally Original: the proper authority Suggested revision: the relevant authorities Why it matters: “Relevant authorities” is the conventional phrase for the organisations responsible.
- 2. Use clear reference Original: the Suggested revision: these Why it matters: “These” clearly refers back to the specific comments in the letter.
- 3. Use uncountable action Original: actions Suggested revision: action Why it matters: The fixed expression uses the uncountable singular noun “action.”
- 4. Use formal evaluation Original: not really that bad Suggested revision: generally satisfactory Why it matters: This wording is more precise and suitable for a newspaper letter.
- 5. Use natural facility term Original: great lighting systems Suggested revision: good lighting Why it matters: “Lighting” naturally describes this amenity without “systems.”
- 6. Clarify water provision Original: facilities for clean drinking water Suggested revision: access to clean drinking water Why it matters: The replacement states the available amenity more naturally.
- 7. Use formal quantity phrase Original: enough parking spaces Suggested revision: sufficient parking Why it matters: “Sufficient parking” is the concise formal expression for this facility.
- 8. Remove unnecessary comma Original: especially, when shopping at night Suggested revision: especially when shopping at night Why it matters: No comma should separate “especially” from the clause it modifies.
- 9. Use funding collocation Original: allocates some extra budgets Suggested revision: allocates additional funding Why it matters: A government allocates funding rather than multiple budgets to address local issues.
- 10. Match conditional tense Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: The present-tense condition beginning with “if” takes “will” for its likely future result.
Suggested Rewrites
- the proper authority the relevant authorities
- the these
- actions action
- not really that bad generally satisfactory
- great lighting systems good lighting
- facilities for clean drinking water access to clean drinking water
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a balanced account of useful facilities, specific shortcomings and a plausible route for improvement, while maintaining an appropriate tone for a newspaper. Its main limitation is that the proposed solution remains broad and the entire letter is presented as one paragraph, reducing impact. Prioritise specific remedies for hygiene, parking and night security and organise the three purposes into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The positive features, facility problems, and broad improvement proposal are all relevant and clearly conveyed, though the solutions are not developed individually.
Recommend concrete measures such as more cleaning staff, additional parking spaces, better lighting, and security patrols.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear positive-to-negative-to-solution sequence, but the single-paragraph format and repeated references to issues reduce cohesion.
Create distinct paragraphs for what works well, what is inadequate, and how each problem should be addressed.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for discussing amenities and civic action, but repeated words and collocations such as “extra budgets” are occasionally imprecise.
Use “additional funding,” “meet acceptable standards,” and specific facility terms to make the recommendations more exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses complex sentences accurately overall, with occasional errors in plurality, conditional consistency, and preposition choice.
Write “allocate additional funding to address these issues” and keep the conditional consistent with “if the government allocates, the problems can be resolved.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved. Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter:
- say in general
- what you like about shopping in your area
- say what is wrong with the facilities
- suggest how they can be improved
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.