You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter: - explain why you would like the job - give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ - say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you regarding the advertisement mentioned by you in a magazine. I would love the job of looking after your six-year-old child. As we know, children are the most innocent among us and we get to learn a lot in the process of teaching them about life. I would be a suitable person to employ as I had looked after my younger siblings before. I know how hard it can be for working parents to keep the checks on all the needs of a child. Moreover, I am working on my final semester project which can be done remotely, so six months of stay will not an obstruction in our way. I will also be able to spend my free time in Australia. Because your house is in Sydney, It will be easy for me to visit various museums and art galleries nearby in the city. Also, I might try my chance to see the Australian Cricket team play live on their grounds. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Narender Modi
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: advertisement mentioned by you Suggested revision: your advertisement Why it matters: This concise possessive form sounds more natural in a formal application letter.
- 2. Use present perfect Original: had Suggested revision: have Why it matters: Present perfect correctly describes relevant experience continuing up to the present.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: keep the checks on Suggested revision: keep track of Why it matters: The natural collocation for monitoring a child's needs is 'keep track of'.
- 4. Use possessive form Original: all the needs of a child Suggested revision: all of a child's needs Why it matters: The possessive structure expresses the relationship between the child and their needs clearly.
- 5. Use compound modifier Original: six months of stay Suggested revision: a six-month stay Why it matters: A singular hyphenated compound is required before the noun 'stay'.
- 6. Add verb and clarify Original: will not an obstruction in our way Suggested revision: will not be an obstacle to my work Why it matters: The clause needs the verb 'be' and a clear statement of what will remain unaffected.
- 7. Lowercase after comma Original: It Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The dependent clause continues after the comma, so 'it' should not be capitalized.
- 8. Correct the expression Original: try my chance to see Suggested revision: take the opportunity to see Why it matters: This is the natural expression for making use of a possible experience.
- 9. Strengthen application tone Original: would love the job of looking after Suggested revision: would be delighted to care for Why it matters: This wording expresses enthusiasm while sounding more polished in a job application.
- 10. Use concise wording Original: a suitable person to employ Suggested revision: a suitable candidate Why it matters: 'Candidate' conveys suitability for employment more concisely and naturally.
- 11. Clarify compound modifier Original: my final semester project Suggested revision: my final-semester project Why it matters: Hyphenating the compound makes clear that the project belongs to the final semester.
- 12. Use active wording Original: which can be done remotely Suggested revision: which I can complete remotely Why it matters: The active construction makes the writer's responsibility for the project clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- advertisement mentioned by you your advertisement
- had have
- keep the checks on keep track of
- all the needs of a child all of a child's needs
- six months of stay a six-month stay
- will not an obstruction in our way will not be an obstacle to my work
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter addresses the parents appropriately, covers all three requested points, and gives concrete plans for free time in Sydney. Its main limitation is that the reasons for wanting the role and being suitable are only briefly developed, while several awkward expressions and grammar slips weaken polish; the priority is to add specific childcare skills and revise inaccurate collocations and sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are addressed, although the childcare motivation and suitability details remain fairly general.
Add specific examples of childcare duties, skills, or situations that demonstrate why you would be dependable with a six-year-old.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow the task points in a sensible order, but the single-block presentation and some mechanical linking reduce the clarity of the progression.
Use separate paragraphs for motivation, suitability, and free-time plans, with smoother transitions between them.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but phrases such as keeping checks, an obstruction in our way, and try my chance are unnatural.
Choose more natural collocations, such as meeting a child's needs, posing no obstacle, and trying to see a cricket match.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the message, though errors in verb forms, missing words, capitalization, and sentence construction are noticeable.
Proofread clauses for complete verb structures and accurate tense choices, especially in sentences about prior childcare and the six-month stay.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter:
- explain why you would like the job
- give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ
- say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.