You have recently changed your job and started working for a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: - explain why you have changed your previous job - describe your new job - tell him/her your other news
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Dear Kathy, Hope you are doing well. It's been a long since we have last met. I am writing to let you know that I have recently changed my job and I really like it. I hope we willwould be able to meet soon and spend some exciting time together. Though I was professionally satisfied with my previous job, it was hard for me to balance my professional and personal life. Long working hours did not allow mewere not allowing me to get some time for myself. Moreover, I was looking for an opportunity that would allow me to develop my people-management skillsgrow in the people management area along with technical skills. The new company offers both. I am responsible for project deliverythe project delivery and I lead a team of eight people. I am truly excited about this new role. I would also like to inform you that I have finally purchased a car. It is a second-hand car, however, it is in good condition. I enjoy mya daily drive to work. That's all for nowNo more today. Please convey my regards to your family. I look forward to hearing what you have been doingknowing what you are doing these days. Please write me back at your convenience. Warm wishes, Naaz
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly fulfils its friendly purpose, covers all three points with relevant detail, and uses a generally natural range of vocabulary and sentence structures. Its main limitation is presentation as one continuous paragraph, while several awkward phrases and tense choices reduce polish; the highest priority is to group the job change, new role, and personal news into distinct paragraphs and proofread collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are covered, and the friendly letter contains relevant supporting detail.
Develop the new role slightly further by explaining one specific responsibility or benefit rather than only naming the team and delivery duties.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the reason for changing jobs to the new role and personal news, but the response is not divided into paragraphs.
Use separate paragraphs for the job-change reason, the new position, and the car news so each stage of the message is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
The letter shows a good range of relevant vocabulary, although phrases such as "It's been a long" and "enjoy a daily drive" are unnatural.
Choose more idiomatic collocations, such as "It has been a long time" and "I enjoy driving to work every day."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of simple and complex structures is used with generally good control, though several tense and sentence-boundary errors remain.
Proofread tense choices and punctuation, especially "since we last met" and the comma splice before "however."