You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - describe the problem - explain how it is affecting your work - write what you want him to do regarding it
Sample Response
Dear Mr Wayne, I understand that you probably do not want to hear about another issue amid so many other problems, but I just do not have any other option but to inform you of the issue. The problem, I am talking about, is related to my desktop computer which I have been working with for the last one year so. In fact, my computer is giving me trouble on and off for more than a month as it keeps freezing on me momentarily, forcing me to stop my work until it comes back again. Sometimes, my computer becomes so hot that I become a little afraid to even touch it after working on it for a bit longer period of time. Needless to say, it is also running out of memory since many different pieces of software have been installed in it over the years, which is actually making the machine run even slower. Naturally, because of these reasons, the productivity at my work is getting affected rather negatively. It takes me more time to finish a task that should not have taken such a lengthy time. It demotivates me as well.
Therefore, I would really appreciate it if you take proper steps to arrange to have a technician fix my computer at your earliest convenience.
Yours sincerely, Rob Freeman
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove interrupting commas Original: The problem, I am talking about, Suggested revision: The problem I am talking about Why it matters: The defining clause should not be separated from its noun by commas.
- 2. Complete the time phrase Original: for the last one year so Suggested revision: for the last year or so Why it matters: The expression requires “or so,” and “one” is unnecessary before “year.”
- 3. Use present perfect Original: is giving me trouble on and off for more than a month Suggested revision: has been giving me trouble intermittently for more than a month Why it matters: The present perfect continuous correctly describes a recurring problem continuing from the past.
- 4. Use a natural phrase Original: a bit longer period of time Suggested revision: an extended period Why it matters: The original phrase is awkward and unnecessarily repetitive.
- 5. Correct the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: Software is conventionally described as being installed “on” a computer.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: the productivity at my work Suggested revision: my productivity at work Why it matters: This is the natural expression for the writer’s work output.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: is getting affected rather negatively Suggested revision: is being adversely affected Why it matters: “Adversely affected” expresses the negative impact precisely without redundancy.
- 8. Correct the time reference Original: should not have taken such a lengthy time Suggested revision: should not take so long Why it matters: The present form matches the writer’s description of a continuing problem.
- 9. Use a polite request Original: if you take proper steps to arrange to have Suggested revision: if you could arrange to have Why it matters: “Could” gives the conditional request the appropriate polite grammatical form.
- 10. Use a direct phrase Original: related to my desktop computer Suggested revision: with my desktop computer Why it matters: “A problem with” is the more direct and natural collocation here.
- 11. Choose a precise verb Original: which I have been working with Suggested revision: which I have been using Why it matters: “Using” describes the writer’s relationship with the computer more precisely.
- 12. Remove informal wording Original: freezing on me momentarily Suggested revision: freezing intermittently Why it matters: This replacement expresses the repeated malfunction in a more professional register.
Suggested Rewrites
- The problem, I am talking about, The problem I am talking about
- for the last one year so for the last year or so
- is giving me trouble on and off for more than a month has been giving me trouble intermittently for more than a month
- a bit longer period of time an extended period
- in on
- the productivity at my work my productivity at work
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a detailed account of the computer faults, their effect on productivity, and the requested repair, so the manager can act on the problem. However, the opening is unnecessarily apologetic and most content is crowded into one long paragraph, while several awkward expressions reduce precision; a more direct opening, clearer paragraphing, and tighter sentence control would make the letter more professional.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are developed clearly and the requested action is explicit, although the speculative opening about the manager's problems is unnecessary.
Begin directly with the computer problem and retain only information that helps the manager understand or resolve it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from faults to consequences and a solution, but the long first paragraph and somewhat formulaic linking weaken organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the equipment faults, their impact on work, and the requested remedy.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary has sufficient range for the situation, but awkward combinations such as 'productivity at my work' and 'a bit longer period of time' limit precision.
Replace wordy or unnatural collocations with concise phrases such as 'my productivity' and 'after prolonged use'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted successfully, but recurring issues with tense, punctuation, and conditional phrasing reduce overall control.
Review time references and polite conditional forms, especially 'has been giving me trouble' and 'if you could arrange'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- describe the problem
- explain how it is affecting your work
- write what you want him to do regarding it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.