You work in an office and have recently been experiencing a health problem. You think that the problem started because of the working conditions in the office. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - Describe the health problem - Explain why you think it was caused by conditions in the office - Suggest what the manager should do to improve the working conditions in the office
Sample Response
Dear Mr Smith,
As the head of this company's planning committeethe planning committee of this Company, I’m writing to inform you that our annual conference is scheduled to take placeset to come off on 23 December 2021on the 23/12/2021 in the main hall on the ground floorat the main hall of the ground floor.
All necessary preparations are underway to ensure that the annual conference is a success.
As part of the preparationspreparation for the conference, I kindly request that yourequest of you that, as the head of the finance department, prepare and present the company's financial statementthe financial statement of the company for the previous year and the proposed budget for the first quarter of 2022the first quarter of the year 2022.
Moreover, I’ve sent memos to all departmentsmemos to every department to notify them of the conference in advancenotify them ahead of time. All projectors needed for the conference havehas been secured, and the cafeteria staff have been askedas well as the cafeteria has been announced to prepare enough luncheslunch and snacks for all participants.
Kindly contact me if you need any clarificationclarifications.
Yours sincerely, [Your name]Yours Sincerely,
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response is an internally coherent and suitably professional letter about organising an annual conference, with a clear sequence and some effective workplace vocabulary. However, it does not address the assigned health problem, its connection to office conditions, or any proposed improvements, so it fails the communicative purpose completely. Rewrite the letter around those three required points before refining the recurring grammatical and collocational errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter is wholly unrelated to the assigned situation and omits every required point about health and office working conditions.
Replace the conference content with a description of the health problem, evidence linking it to the office, and practical improvements for the manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
Within its unrelated subject, the letter has clear paragraphing and a logical progression from announcement to preparations and requested action.
Use the same orderly progression for the assigned content, with one focused paragraph for each required point.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonable range of workplace vocabulary, but several combinations, including come off and the cafeteria has been announced, are inaccurate.
Choose more natural collocations such as take place and the cafeteria staff have been asked to provide refreshments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences communicate the unrelated message clearly, but agreement and clause-structure errors recur in longer sentences.
Correct patterns such as projectors has been secured and request of you that prepare, and split overloaded sentences for better control.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You work in an office and have recently been experiencing a health problem. You think that the problem started because of the working conditions in the office. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- Describe the health problem
- Explain why you think it was caused by conditions in the office
- Suggest what the manager should do to improve the working conditions in the office
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.