You have been to a business meeting at another company and saw a piece of equipment which can be useful for your company too. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - describe the piece of equipment you have seen - why having the same equipment would be useful for your company - offer your assistance in buying the equipment
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to recommend a piece of equipment for our company which I believe would be highly useful. I saw this equipment at another company when I attended a business meeting there about a week ago. This useful piece of equipment, I am talking about, is a foldable whiteboard. Of course, we already have a large whiteboard in our meeting and conference room, but the problem with this large whiteboard is that it is really inconvenient to carry it to another room if we want to do some important presentation there. But, luckily, this whiteboard would solve that problem for us since we can always fold it and carry it anywhere at ease. Besides, this foldable whiteboard can be broken into pieces, like some furniture, which will make it easy for us to place it on almost any kind or size of surface. And, this foldable whiteboard becomes like an average size briefcase, about 24 inches long and 18 inches wide, after folding it. So, if you think that this foldable whiteboard could be a piece of useful equipment for our office, I would be more than happy to assist you in buying it. Yours faithfully, Jack Nicholas
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Address your manager Original: Dear Sir or Madam, Suggested revision: Dear [Manager's Name], Why it matters: A manager should normally be addressed by name when the recipient is known.
- 2. Remove intrusive commas Original: This useful piece of equipment, I am talking about, Suggested revision: The piece of equipment I am referring to Why it matters: The inserted clause is awkwardly punctuated and disrupts the sentence structure.
- 3. Use correct article Original: some Suggested revision: an Why it matters: A singular countable noun needs an article, and 'an' fits here.
- 4. Correct fixed phrase Original: at Suggested revision: with Why it matters: 'With ease' is the correct expression for doing something easily.
- 5. Use precise verb Original: broken into pieces Suggested revision: disassembled Why it matters: 'Disassembled' describes taking equipment apart more precisely and professionally.
- 6. Remove vague comparison Original: like some furniture, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This vague comparison adds little information and weakens the description.
- 7. Fix parallel structure Original: almost any kind or size of surface Suggested revision: surfaces of almost any size Why it matters: 'Kind or size of surface' is not a natural parallel construction in this context.
- 8. Hyphenate compound adjective Original: average size briefcase Suggested revision: average-sized briefcase Why it matters: The compound adjective before 'briefcase' should be hyphenated.
- 9. Separate letter functions Suggested revision: Organize the letter into separate paragraphs for the recommendation, practical benefits, and offer of purchasing assistance. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the three communicative stages easier for the manager to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, Dear [Manager's Name],
- This useful piece of equipment, I am talking about, The piece of equipment I am referring to
- some an
- at with
- broken into pieces disassembled
- like some furniture, Delete
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully addresses the purpose and all three bullet points with a clear explanation of the foldable whiteboard's practical value and an appropriately formal tone. Its main weakness is repetitive wording and a largely single-block presentation, while several collocations sound slightly unnatural; prioritise clearer paragraphing and more precise, varied phrasing to make the recommendation feel more polished and persuasive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully covered, and the equipment's benefits are developed with specific detail.
Use a more personal salutation appropriate for a known manager and make the offer of purchasing assistance slightly more specific.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from identification to benefits and assistance, although the response is presented as one dense block and uses several basic linking openings.
Organise the letter into distinct paragraphs for purpose, description and benefits, and assistance, while reducing sentence-initial linking words.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and relevant, but repeated uses of "foldable whiteboard" and awkward phrases such as "anywhere at ease" reduce precision.
Use accurate collocations such as "carry it with ease" and vary references to the equipment without sacrificing clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex sentence forms is generally controlled, with only occasional awkward structures and unnecessary comma separation.
Refine clause boundaries and word order in the longer sentences so that complex ideas read more naturally.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have been to a business meeting at another company and saw a piece of equipment which can be useful for your company too. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- describe the piece of equipment you have seen
- why having the same equipment would be useful for your company
- offer your assistance in buying the equipment
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.