You forget your bag in the gym and the gym management announced that it will be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. Write a letter to the manager of the gym. In your letter: - introduce yourself and describe your position - give them a description of your bag - tell them what you want them to do
Sample Response
Dear Mr Andrew, I am a regular member of your True Fitness Gym in the West Delhi branch. I went to the gym last Friday, as usual, however, I was in a bit hurry for an official meeting and I forgot my bag in cupboard 167. Today I learned that the gymnasium will be closed for a week but I need the bag urgently. I am hoping that you would arrange a way to hand over the bag to me. My access card number is 99876 and I have been a member since the beginning of 2021. The authority has announced that the gym will be closed for renovation work but I need my bag along with its content urgently. My bag is black and has three zippers, one in the middle and two on the sides. It has my official laptop and wallet which includes my driving license and credit cards along with some cash. I would need them before I go to the office tomorrow morning. I would request you to kindly instruct your ward boy to assist me in getting the bag from the cupboard when I come to the gym tomorrow morning. I understand the inconvenience this might cause you, and I would really appreciate your help. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Gaurav Verma
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct branch preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: At is the appropriate preposition when identifying the branch where the membership is held.
- 2. Match the present request Original: would Suggested revision: can Why it matters: Can fits the present request introduced by I am hoping.
- 3. Name the management Original: authority Suggested revision: management Why it matters: Management is the precise term for the people responsible for the gym's closure.
- 4. Use the plural noun Original: content Suggested revision: contents Why it matters: Contents is the standard plural noun for the collection of items inside a bag.
- 5. Use the natural term Original: official Suggested revision: work Why it matters: Work laptop is the usual expression for a computer used for one's job.
- 6. Clarify the relative clause Original: wallet which includes Suggested revision: wallet, which contains Why it matters: The comma marks the added description, and contains is the natural verb for items kept in a wallet.
- 7. Use present necessity Original: would need them Suggested revision: need them Why it matters: The need is current and definite, so the present form is appropriate.
- 8. Use professional wording Original: ward boy Suggested revision: member of staff Why it matters: Member of staff is a neutral and professional term for a gym employee.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I went to the gym last Friday, as usual, however, I was in a bit hurry for an official meeting and I forgot my bag in cupboard 167. Suggested revision: I went to the gym last Friday as usual; however, I was in a hurry to attend an official meeting, so I left my bag in cupboard 167. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the comma splice and article error while showing clearly why the bag was left behind.
- 10. Separate the request stages Suggested revision: Use separate paragraphs for your identity and situation, the bag and its contents, and the action you want the manager to take. Why it matters: The single block obscures the progression through the three required points.
Suggested Rewrites
- in at
- would can
- authority management
- content contents
- official work
- wallet which includes wallet, which contains
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter communicates the situation and requested action very clearly, supported by specific identifying details about the member, cupboard, bag, and contents. Its main limitation is uneven linguistic polish: the closure and urgency are repeated, while several articles and collocations are inaccurate. Streamline the repeated information and correct phrases such as in a bit of a hurry to produce a more concise, natural formal request.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All required points are fully addressed in a suitably polite formal letter, and the requested action is precise and practical.
Avoid repeating the renovation and urgency details so that every sentence contributes new information.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message follows a clear sequence from situation to identification, description, and request, though repetition and one-block presentation reduce cohesion.
Organise the response into short paragraphs and mention the gym closure only once.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and specific, but choices such as in a bit hurry, its content, and the authority are occasionally unnatural.
Use idiomatic phrases such as in a bit of a hurry, its contents, and the gym management.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses several complex sentences accurately, with occasional article, punctuation, and agreement errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread articles and sentence boundaries, particularly around introductory clauses and coordinated clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You forget your bag in the gym and the gym management announced that it will be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. Write a letter to the manager of the gym. In your letter:
- introduce yourself and describe your position
- give them a description of your bag
- tell them what you want them to do
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.