You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months - say how your work could be done while you are away - ask for his/her help in arranging it
Sample Response
Dear Mr Henry,
I am writing to formally request an opportunity to work at our company’s head office in Germany for six months. I am hoping that you will allow me to take the opportunity to work in our head office for about half a year.
I believe that working at the head office would allow me to gain a deeper understanding of our global operations and learn best practices from senior colleagues. This experience would enhance my skills and enable me to bring new insights and strategies back to our team. Additionally, it would give me the chance to build stronger relationships with key stakeholders, which could be beneficial for our department in the long run.
To ensure that my responsibilities are managed smoothly during my absence, I propose delegating some of my tasks to James, who is already familiar with my ongoing projects. I would also be happy to offer remote support when needed and ensure a thorough handover before I leave.
I would appreciate your guidance in arranging this transfer and discussing any formal procedures that need to be completed. Please let me know a convenient time to discuss this further.
Yours sincerely,
Liam Bennett
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Make request precise Original: formally request an opportunity Suggested revision: formally request permission Why it matters: Permission states more directly what the writer needs from the manager.
- 2. Remove wordiness Original: allow me to take the opportunity to work Suggested revision: allow me to work Why it matters: The shorter wording preserves the request and avoids repeating opportunity.
- 3. Keep duration consistent Original: for about half a year Suggested revision: for six months Why it matters: Using the task's exact duration avoids unnecessary variation after six months has already been stated.
- 4. Use specific wording Original: enhance my skills Suggested revision: develop my professional skills Why it matters: This wording identifies the type of development more precisely in a workplace request.
- 5. Improve business phrasing Original: bring new insights and strategies back to our team Suggested revision: apply new insights and strategies within our team Why it matters: Apply expresses more clearly how the experience would benefit the writer's team.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: offer Suggested revision: provide Why it matters: Provide remote support is the more conventional workplace collocation.
- 7. Clarify temporary move Original: arranging this transfer Suggested revision: arranging this temporary placement Why it matters: Temporary placement accurately reflects the requested six-month arrangement.
- 8. Clarify work coverage Suggested revision: Identify which responsibilities James would handle and briefly state how the remaining work would be covered. Why it matters: The plan mentions only some tasks, so a clearer allocation would make the absence arrangement more complete.
Suggested Rewrites
- formally request an opportunity formally request permission
- allow me to take the opportunity to work allow me to work
- for about half a year for six months
- enhance my skills develop my professional skills
- bring new insights and strategies back to our team apply new insights and strategies within our team
- offer provide
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is highly effective: it presents a clear request, develops persuasive professional benefits, offers a practical continuity plan, and seeks the manager's assistance in an appropriately formal tone. Its main limitation is minor repetition in the opening and slightly generic wording in places. The highest priority is to make the request more concise and add one concrete detail about the intended work or transfer process.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully covers every bullet point with relevant, well-developed detail and consistently appropriate professional tone.
Add a specific example of a head-office project or procedure to make the proposed arrangement even more concrete.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into purposeful paragraphs and progress naturally from rationale to work coverage and the request for assistance.
Condense the two similar opening sentences so the letter moves more efficiently into the supporting reasons.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise professional vocabulary is used naturally, including global operations, stakeholders, delegating, and thorough handover.
Replace generic phrases such as take the opportunity with a more direct expression such as undertake this placement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are varied and consistently accurate, with strong control of conditionals, relative clauses, and modality.
Maintain this accuracy while tightening repeated clause patterns in the introduction for greater stylistic economy.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months
- say how your work could be done while you are away
- ask for his/her help in arranging it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.