You play a team sport with some friends. Last week a member of the team had an accident and was not able to play with you at the weekend. You decide to write to him/her in the hospital, telling him/her about the match. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - tell him/her which team won - say how you felt about the match - ask how he/she is doing
Sample Response
Dear Joseph, I was quite horrified by the news that you broke your leg during the practice session and got admitted to a hospital. I'm writing to wish you a quick recovery and to let you know that we've won the match. Without your presence, the team was discouraged, and we missed you during the game. However, we wanted to win the match and bring the trophy to our college this year. Muller and Gordon both scored, and we won by 1 goal. The final score was 3-2, and the match was nerve-racking. I must say that we were lucky to have our usual composure. Not to mention, everyone talked about you before the game, and I felt your absence too. I haven't been able to meet you in the hospital, and I'm planning to do it first thing on Monday. How are you doing? I hope the broken bones are not much severe. Take rest, and stay relaxed. You're in our prayers. I'm hoping to talk to you in person soon. Warm regards, Richard
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use passive form Original: got admitted to a hospital Suggested revision: was admitted to hospital Why it matters: The passive construction is the standard form for entering hospital as a patient.
- 2. Use past tense Original: we've Suggested revision: we Why it matters: The match is a completed event at a stated past time, so the simple past is appropriate.
- 3. Use concise phrase Original: Without your presence Suggested revision: In your absence Why it matters: This is the more natural expression for describing the teammate not being there.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: was Suggested revision: felt Why it matters: Felt discouraged describes the team's emotional state more naturally.
- 5. Spell out number Original: 1 Suggested revision: one Why it matters: Spelling out a small number is more suitable in an informal letter.
- 6. Clarify intended meaning Original: lucky to have our usual composure Suggested revision: fortunate to maintain our usual composure Why it matters: Maintain clearly expresses that the team kept its composure during the match.
- 7. Use clear transition Original: Not to mention Suggested revision: Before the game Why it matters: This transition gives the following detail a clear time relationship.
- 8. Replace vague reference Original: planning to do it Suggested revision: planning to visit you Why it matters: Naming the intended action makes the sentence clear and natural.
- 9. Correct degree phrase Original: much Suggested revision: too Why it matters: Too, rather than much, modifies the adjective severe in this construction.
- 10. Use correct idiom Original: Take rest Suggested revision: Get some rest Why it matters: Get some rest is the natural English expression for this advice.
Suggested Rewrites
- got admitted to a hospital was admitted to hospital
- we've we
- Without your presence In your absence
- was felt
- 1 one
- lucky to have our usual composure fortunate to maintain our usual composure
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter is warm, engaging, and directly fulfils the communicative purpose by reporting the result, conveying feelings about the match, and asking after the injured friend. The main limitation is occasional awkward or imprecise phrasing, particularly when discussing the injury and recovery. The highest priority is to replace these non-idiomatic expressions with natural informal English while retaining the lively detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed clearly and developed with relevant match details in a suitably friendly and supportive tone.
Make the account even more complete by identifying the opposing team when reporting the victory.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses coherently from concern about the injury to the match result, personal reactions, and plans to visit.
Use paragraph breaks to distinguish the match report from the questions and wishes concerning the friend's recovery.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and expressive, with effective items such as nerve-racking and composure, but a few recovery-related phrases are unnatural.
Use idiomatic expressions such as the injury is not too serious and get plenty of rest.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a flexible mix of simple and complex structures accurately, despite a few errors in comparison and article use.
Review adjective modification and fixed expressions, especially not much severe and take rest.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You play a team sport with some friends. Last week a member of the team had an accident and was not able to play with you at the weekend. You decide to write to him/her in the hospital, telling him/her about the match. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- tell him/her which team won
- say how you felt about the match
- ask how he/she is doing
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.