You play a team sport with some friends. Last week a member of the team had an accident and was not able to play with you at the weekend. You decide to write to him/her in the hospital, telling him/her about the match. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - tell him/her which team won - say how you felt about the match - ask how he/she is doing
Sample Response
Dear Conor, I really pray and hope that you're trying to remain positive and high-spirited after your accident. And, please also know that you've always been in the thoughts and prayers of our whole team since we heard about your shocking accident. I think that this particular news is going to elate you and your spirit in a big way - our team has won against the “Brother’s Union” club in the last match which took place a couple of days ago. Our whole team surely missed you in the match, since you were one of our most experienced and valued players, but the win against tough opposition like the Brother’s Union Club felt really sweet to all of our team members. Besides, I felt that it was a complete win for our team since we played properly in all departments, including ball passing and saving many corner kicks. So, how long more do you need to stay at the hospital? We're still not sure about the extent of damage or injury to your left leg. So, have you got the final X-ray report of your fracture? Wishing to have you among us soon. Warm regards, Tim
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural sympathy Original: really pray and hope Suggested revision: sincerely hope Why it matters: Sincerely hope conveys warm concern more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Use idiomatic phrase Original: high-spirited Suggested revision: in good spirits Why it matters: In good spirits is the natural expression for maintaining a positive mood during recovery.
- 3. Remove awkward opening Original: And, please also know Suggested revision: Please also know Why it matters: The initial conjunction and following comma are unnecessary at the start of this sentence.
- 4. Match the time frame Original: you've always been in the thoughts and prayers Suggested revision: you've been in the thoughts and prayers Why it matters: Always conflicts with the specific starting point introduced by since later in the sentence.
- 5. Avoid repetition Original: your shocking accident Suggested revision: what happened Why it matters: The accident has already been named, so this reference avoids immediate repetition.
- 6. Use concise reference Original: this particular news Suggested revision: this news Why it matters: Particular adds no useful distinction because only one piece of news follows.
- 7. Use idiomatic wording Original: elate you and your spirit Suggested revision: lift your spirits Why it matters: Lift your spirits is the conventional expression for making someone feel happier.
- 8. Use precise adverb Original: in a big way Suggested revision: greatly Why it matters: Greatly expresses the degree more concisely than the vague informal phrase.
- 9. Use simple past Original: has won against Suggested revision: beat Why it matters: The completed match calls for the simple past, and beat takes the opposing team directly.
- 10. Mark the extra clause Original: the last match which took place Suggested revision: the recent match, which took place Why it matters: The non-defining time clause needs a comma, and recent is clearer than last here.
- 11. Clarify the absence Original: missed you in the match Suggested revision: missed having you in the match Why it matters: The revised phrase makes clear that the team missed the friend's participation.
- 12. Use natural reaction Original: felt really sweet to all of our team members Suggested revision: felt especially satisfying to all our team members Why it matters: Satisfying is a natural adjective for the emotional effect of a hard-earned win.
Suggested Rewrites
- really pray and hope sincerely hope
- high-spirited in good spirits
- And, please also know Please also know
- you've always been in the thoughts and prayers you've been in the thoughts and prayers
- your shocking accident what happened
- this particular news this news
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter has a warm, supportive purpose and fully tells the absent player who won, how the writer felt, and asks several specific questions about recovery. Its main weakness is the dense single-paragraph format, compounded by repetitive emotional language and awkward phrases such as 'elate you and your spirit' and 'how long more'. Prioritise conventional informal-letter paragraphing and natural, concise expressions for encouragement, match reaction, and recovery questions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully covered with specific match details, a clear personal reaction, and caring questions about the friend's recovery.
Keep the supportive tone but reduce repeated references to prayers and the shock of the accident so the match update remains central.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content follows a sensible sequence from encouragement to match news and recovery questions, but the entire letter is presented as one dense paragraph.
Use separate paragraphs for the opening concern, the result and reaction, and the questions about recovery.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for emotion, sport, and injury, but several collocations are unnatural and some wording is repetitive.
Use natural phrases such as 'lift your spirits', 'beat', 'felt especially satisfying', and 'how much longer'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences communicates the message clearly, although punctuation, question forms, articles, and clause construction show noticeable lapses.
Proofread question structures and sentence boundaries, especially 'How much longer do you need to stay in hospital?' and the opening after the salutation.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You play a team sport with some friends. Last week a member of the team had an accident and was not able to play with you at the weekend. You decide to write to him/her in the hospital, telling him/her about the match. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- tell him/her which team won
- say how you felt about the match
- ask how he/she is doing
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.