You play a team sport with some friends. Last week a member of the team had an accident and was not able to play with you at the weekend. You decide to write to him/her in the hospital, telling him/her about the match. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - tell him/her which team won - say how you felt about the match - ask how he/she is doing
Sample Response
Dear Joseph, I was quite horrified by the news that you broke your leg during the practice session and got admitted to a hospital. I'm writing to wish you a quick recovery and to let you know that we've won the match. Without your presence, the team was discouraged, and we missed you during the game. However, we wanted to win the match and bring the trophy to our college this year. Muller and Gordon both scored, and we won by 1 goal. The final score was 3-2, and the match was nerve-racking. I must say that we were lucky to have our usual composure. Not to mention, everyone talked about you before the game, and I felt your absence too. I haven't been able to meet you in the hospital, and I'm planning to do it first thing on Monday. How are you doing? I hope the broken bones are not much severe. Take rest, and stay relaxed. You're in our prayers. I'm hoping to talk to you in person soon. Warm regards, Richard
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct passive Original: got admitted to a hospital Suggested revision: were admitted to hospital Why it matters: The passive form needs were, and British English normally uses hospital without an article in this context.
- 2. Use simple past Original: we've Suggested revision: we Why it matters: The match occurred at a finished time last weekend, so the simple past is required.
- 3. Write number in words Original: 1 Suggested revision: one Why it matters: A small number in ordinary prose is more naturally written as a word.
- 4. Use maintain composure Original: have Suggested revision: maintain Why it matters: Maintain is the natural verb for keeping composure during a difficult match.
- 5. Use a clear addition Original: Not to mention Suggested revision: Also Why it matters: The original expression lacks a preceding point that it logically intensifies.
- 6. Name the visit Original: planning to do it Suggested revision: planning to visit you Why it matters: The explicit action is clearer than the vague pronoun it.
- 7. Correct degree phrase Original: much Suggested revision: too Why it matters: Severe is modified by too rather than much in this construction.
- 8. Use natural advice Original: Take rest Suggested revision: Get some rest Why it matters: Get some rest is the standard expression for encouraging recovery.
- 9. Use natural reaction Original: quite horrified by the news Suggested revision: shocked to hear Why it matters: Shocked to hear is a natural way to react to distressing news from a friend.
- 10. Use concise timing Original: during the practice session Suggested revision: during practice Why it matters: The shorter phrase is natural and fully identifies when the accident happened.
- 11. Use direct friendly wording Original: I felt your absence too Suggested revision: I missed you too Why it matters: The revision sounds more natural and personal in a letter to a friend.
- 12. Match the stated injury Original: the broken bones are Suggested revision: your injury is Why it matters: The singular phrase agrees with is and matches the previously described leg injury.
Suggested Rewrites
- got admitted to a hospital were admitted to hospital
- we've we
- 1 one
- have maintain
- Not to mention Also
- planning to do it planning to visit you
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter fully addresses the situation and all three prompts, with an appropriately warm tone and specific match details that make the message engaging. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or inaccurate phrasing, especially around the injury and recovery, while the single-block organisation also weakens readability. Prioritise more natural collocations and divide the message into short, purpose-led paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are covered, and the friendly tone is consistently appropriate.
Develop the question about Joseph's condition slightly by asking about his treatment or expected recovery.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from the accident and result to personal reactions and recovery wishes, with generally effective linking.
Separate the match account and recovery message into distinct paragraphs and avoid loosely attached transitions such as 'Not to mention'.
Lexical Resource
A good range of relevant vocabulary, including 'discouraged', 'nerve-racking', and 'composure', conveys the writer's reactions precisely.
Use more natural collocations, replacing phrases such as 'not much severe' and 'Take rest' with idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied simple and complex structures are used with strong control, and the few errors do not impede meaning.
Refine comparative and modifier structures, particularly by writing 'not too severe' rather than 'not much severe'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You play a team sport with some friends. Last week a member of the team had an accident and was not able to play with you at the weekend. You decide to write to him/her in the hospital, telling him/her about the match. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- tell him/her which team won
- say how you felt about the match
- ask how he/she is doing
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.