Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising can tell you a lot about a country.
Sample Response
Every country has its own culture and traditions. There is no doubt that an advertising campaign conducted in Russia will not have the same effect here in the United States. Let us take for example advertisement of food and restaurants.
A large number of fast food stands suggests their services for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper here in Houston. The competition is very strong. Every week you get in your mailbox an envelope with different types of discounts in exchange for visiting them or ordering pizza. Watching TV you are also from time to time invited to visit a restaurant in order to taste some delicious food. It is not because it is easy to make money cooking but because the demand for such service is high. First of all, people like to go out sometimes to have dinner with friends. Second of all, it is often impossible to drive home for lunch. It can be time-consuming.
As for Russia, it is a great tradition to have dinner at home with the family and go to the restaurant for big holidays. Additionally, fast food is not popular in Russia. So you will see advertisements of the yogurt, coffee, dairy products and juice instead of restaurants and fast food stands.
In conclusion, I would like to add that in order to succeed in advertising campaign especially on the international market company must know traditions, language and history of the country.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural advertisements Original: for example advertisement of Suggested revision: advertisements for Why it matters: Advertisement is countable and general here, and advertisements take for before the promoted items.
- 2. Use competition collocation Original: The competition is very strong Suggested revision: The competition is intense Why it matters: Intense competition is the natural collocation.
- 3. Order object and location Original: you get in your mailbox an envelope Suggested revision: you receive an envelope in your mailbox Why it matters: The direct object naturally follows the verb before the location phrase.
- 4. Use concise discount phrase Original: different types of discounts Suggested revision: various discounts Why it matters: The concise adjective expresses the same variety without a heavy noun phrase.
- 5. Clarify business reference Original: in exchange for visiting them Suggested revision: in exchange for visiting these businesses Why it matters: The plural pronoun them lacks a clear matching antecedent, whereas these businesses identifies the places.
- 6. Use concise purpose infinitive Original: in order to taste Suggested revision: to try Why it matters: The shorter infinitive expresses the purpose more naturally.
- 7. Use plural services Original: service Suggested revision: services Why it matters: The general reference covers multiple restaurant services, so the countable noun should be plural.
- 8. Place frequency adverb Original: go out sometimes to have dinner Suggested revision: sometimes go out to have dinner Why it matters: The frequency adverb normally precedes the main verb.
- 9. Use standard sequence marker Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Second Why it matters: Second is the conventional counterpart to First of all in this sequence.
- 10. Use impractical wording Original: impossible Suggested revision: impractical Why it matters: Impractical more accurately describes an inconvenient journey that may still be possible.
- 11. Supply clear subject Original: It can be time-consuming Suggested revision: Driving home can be time-consuming Why it matters: The explicit subject removes the unclear reference of it.
- 12. Use strong tradition Original: great Suggested revision: strong Why it matters: Strong tradition is the natural collocation for an established custom.
Suggested Rewrites
- for example advertisement of advertisements for
- The competition is very strong The competition is intense
- you get in your mailbox an envelope you receive an envelope in your mailbox
- different types of discounts various discounts
- in exchange for visiting them in exchange for visiting these businesses
- in order to taste to try
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response uses a clear comparison between restaurant advertising in Houston and food-product advertising in Russia to show how adverts reflect national habits. Its strongest feature is the concrete cultural contrast, but the essay is slightly under length, the position is mostly implied, and the conclusion shifts toward advice for advertisers instead of fully synthesising the claim. The priority is to state explicit agreement and develop a second aspect of national life revealed through advertising.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response provides a relevant extended example that supports agreement, but the position is not stated directly, development is narrow, and the answer is slightly under length.
State explicit agreement, add another cultural dimension such as values or purchasing power, and conclude by linking both examples directly to the proposition.
Coherence and Cohesion
The comparison moves clearly from Houston to Russia and is divided into functional paragraphs, although the conclusion does not fully follow through on the central argument.
Use the final paragraph to synthesise what the two advertising patterns reveal rather than introducing advice about international marketing.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for food advertising and cultural comparison, but repetition and several awkward collocations limit flexibility and precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'fast-food outlets advertise their meals', 'discount vouchers', and 'demand for these services'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response mixes simple and complex sentences and remains clear, but agreement, article, punctuation, and sentence-structure errors recur.
Check subject-verb agreement and articles in noun phrases, then add commas after introductory clauses where needed.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising can tell you a lot about a country.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.