Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is extensively used in many countries which causes harm to the environment. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is being encouraged in many countries. Why the use of alternative sources of energy is being encouraged in many countries? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
Fossil fuel, though extensively used, is not eco-friendly, and its usage comes with huge environmental costs. Considering global warming and climate change, and the detrimental effects fossil fuels have on the environment, green fuel, such as solar, hydro and wind power, is increasingly being used in many countries. It is a good thing that many countries have already started using these green power sources.
The promotion of alternative sources of energy has gained significant momentum in numerous countries because of a growing concern about the adverse effects of fossil fuels on the environment such as greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution. Governments and environmental organizations recognize the urgent need to transition to cleaner and more sustainable energy options. For instance, countries like Germany have implemented ambitious renewable energy targets, investing heavily in wind and solar power to reduce their reliance on fossil fuels and combat climate change. The stock of fossil fuels is limited and would get exhausted at a certain point. So, alternative and green sources, which are renewable, would be the main source of our energy in the future. Despite the shift from fossil fuel to green energy being expensive and labour-intensive, green energy like wind and solar energy is renewable, their use should be as much encouraged as possible from right now, and it is a good thing that the trend has already started. Alternative sources of power, such as solar and wind power, do not pollute the environment, have lower carbon emissions and are eco-friendly. So their use could save the planet from the disaster of global warming which is already visible around us. Wind power and solar power are in use in countries like Denmark, Germany and France, and more and more countries are joining the list. We already have an extremely efficient technology to produce solar and wind power, and the trend is quite encouraging. To conclude, the energy demand is increasing at a fast pace, and the stock of fossil fuels is diminishing. So we should turn to alternative green energy sources and share the technology and expertise with all nations so that the transition happens all around the world to save our otherwise dying planet due to climate change and greenhouse effects.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the plural noun Original: fuel Suggested revision: fuels Why it matters: The statement refers generally to several types of fossil fuel, so the plural form is needed.
- 2. Use accurate category wording Original: green fuel, such as solar, hydro and wind power Suggested revision: green energy sources, such as solar, hydro and wind power Why it matters: Solar, hydro and wind power are energy sources rather than types of fuel.
- 3. Set off the examples Original: environment such as greenhouse gas emissions Suggested revision: environment, such as greenhouse gas emissions Why it matters: A comma is needed before the non-restrictive examples introduced by ‘such as’.
- 4. Use an appropriate future Original: would get exhausted Suggested revision: will eventually be exhausted Why it matters: The prediction calls for ‘will’, while the passive form expresses that the finite stock will be used up.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: at a certain point Suggested revision: at some point Why it matters: ‘At some point’ is the idiomatic phrase for an unspecified future time.
- 6. Match plural sources Original: would be the main source of our energy Suggested revision: will be the main sources of our energy Why it matters: The plural subject ‘sources’ requires the plural complement and an appropriate future form.
- 7. Use precise phrasing Original: the disaster of global warming Suggested revision: the damaging effects of global warming Why it matters: The revision identifies the harmful consequences more precisely than the vague noun ‘disaster’.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: all around the world Suggested revision: worldwide Why it matters: ‘Worldwide’ conveys the same meaning more concisely in this formal context.
- 9. Avoid overstated wording Original: our otherwise dying planet Suggested revision: our planet Why it matters: ‘Otherwise dying’ is emotive and imprecise, so removing it produces a more measured academic tone.
- 10. Use the intended term Original: greenhouse effects Suggested revision: greenhouse gas emissions Why it matters: The essay is referring to emissions that contribute to climate change, not multiple ‘greenhouse effects’.
- 11. Use formal collocation Original: its usage comes with huge environmental costs Suggested revision: its use carries substantial environmental costs Why it matters: ‘Carries substantial costs’ is more precise and formal than ‘comes with huge costs’.
- 12. Use academic phrasing Original: It is a good thing that many countries Suggested revision: It is positive that many countries Why it matters: The revision states the evaluation in a more formal academic register.
Suggested Rewrites
- fuel fuels
- green fuel, such as solar, hydro and wind power green energy sources, such as solar, hydro and wind power
- environment such as greenhouse gas emissions environment, such as greenhouse gas emissions
- would get exhausted will eventually be exhausted
- at a certain point at some point
- would be the main source of our energy will be the main sources of our energy
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response answers both questions directly, sustains a clear positive view, and supports its explanation with relevant environmental, resource, and country-level details. Its main limitation is presentation: most development is compressed into one long paragraph, creating repetition and weakening the progression between reasons. The highest priority is to divide the argument into focused paragraphs and condense overlapping claims while preserving the generally strong vocabulary and sentence range.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are addressed directly with a clear positive judgement and well-supported reasons concerning pollution, finite reserves, and sustainability.
Deepen the evaluation by distinguishing immediate transition costs from the longer-term environmental and energy-security benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a logical overall direction, but the single extended body paragraph and repeated points weaken paragraphing and progression.
Separate environmental reasons, resource-security reasons, and the positive evaluation into focused paragraphs with concise transitions.
Lexical Resource
A good range of precise topic vocabulary is used flexibly, although repetition and a few exaggerated or imprecise expressions remain.
Reduce repeated uses of green energy and replace sweeping phrases such as dying planet with measured academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, with a few agreement, article, and comma-splice errors that do not impede meaning.
Revise the longest sentence about renewable energy to remove the comma splice and maintain consistent singular-plural agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is extensively used in many countries which causes harm to the environment. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is being encouraged in many countries. Why the use of alternative sources of energy is being encouraged in many countries? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Your response
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