Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is extensively used in many countries which causes harm to the environment. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is being encouraged in many countries. Why the use of alternative sources of energy is being encouraged in many countries? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
Every year the energy demand is increasing globally. So the strains on the current and already limited resources are high. Since these energy resources, like fossil fuels, are mostly imported by countries, some countries have opted for alternative sources of energy to enjoy greater energy security. I wholeheartedly believe that it is a positive trend.
Alternative sources of energy offer greater energy security and independence and that is why their production and use is increasing. Relying on traditional energy sources, often imported from other countries, can leave nations vulnerable to price fluctuations and geopolitical tensions. Embracing renewable energy sources, such as hydroelectric, geothermal, or biomass, allows countries to tap into their own natural resources and reduce dependence on foreign energy imports. This is why it has already gained popularity.
Fossil fuels, like coal and oil, are not unlimited. A few countries like Germany and Japan, for example, are completely dependent on the import of such resources. For all these countries, alternative energy, also known as green energy, is the answer for the future, and it is a welcoming trend that many countries have already started producing green energy. By embracing renewable energy options, countries can address climate change, enhance energy independence, create employment opportunities, and drive technological progress. Countries like France and Norway, among others, have invested in the technology needed to produce extremely efficient solar panels to store energy from the sun or produce wind power. The positive impacts of this development are innumerable and many countries are following in their footsteps.
In conclusion, the use of green energy sources is gaining traction because many countries want to become energy self-sufficient. This is definitely a positive trend as it reduces reliance on energy imports, helps countries fight climate change, advances technology and creates more employment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the reference Original: it has already gained popularity Suggested revision: renewable energy has already gained popularity Why it matters: Naming renewable energy removes the unclear singular pronoun reference.
- 2. Use concise vocabulary Original: not unlimited Suggested revision: finite Why it matters: Finite expresses the limited nature of fossil fuels more directly.
- 3. Use natural noun phrase Original: on the import of such resources Suggested revision: on imports of such resources Why it matters: The plural noun 'imports' is the more natural expression for repeated national purchases.
- 4. Improve the collocation Original: the answer for the future Suggested revision: a solution for the future Why it matters: Solution is a more precise noun for an energy option intended to address future needs.
- 5. Choose correct adjective Original: welcoming Suggested revision: welcome Why it matters: Welcome, rather than welcoming, means desirable in this noun phrase.
- 6. Avoid overstatement Original: innumerable Suggested revision: numerous Why it matters: Numerous conveys a large number without the absolute overstatement implied by innumerable.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: employment Suggested revision: jobs Why it matters: Creating jobs is the more natural collocation for increasing employment opportunities.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Every year the energy demand is increasing globally. Suggested revision: Global energy demand is increasing every year. Why it matters: This version uses a more natural word order and avoids the unnecessary definite article.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: So the strains on the current and already limited resources are high. Suggested revision: Consequently, existing limited resources are under increasing strain. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the awkward plural expression and uses the natural collocation 'under strain'.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Countries like France and Norway, among others, have invested in the technology needed to produce extremely efficient solar panels to store energy from the sun or produce wind power. Suggested revision: Countries such as France and Norway have invested in technology for highly efficient solar panels that capture energy from the sun and for systems that produce wind power. Why it matters: The rewrite gives each technology a clear function and removes the faulty attachment of the final purpose phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- it has already gained popularity renewable energy has already gained popularity
- not unlimited finite
- on the import of such resources on imports of such resources
- the answer for the future a solution for the future
- welcoming welcome
- innumerable numerous
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay gives a clear position and develops a convincing central explanation around energy security, supported by several relevant benefits of renewable power. The main limitation is that the positive impacts are sometimes listed or repeated rather than explored in depth, while a few examples and collocations lack precision. Prioritise deeper explanation of one or two benefits and ensure each example clearly demonstrates the claim it supports.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly, and the position is clear and supported, although some positive effects receive more assertion than development.
Develop one major positive effect through a clear cause-and-result explanation instead of adding several briefly stated benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised and easy to follow, but the energy-security rationale is repeated across the introduction, body, and conclusion.
Give each body paragraph a more distinct function, separating the reasons for adoption from the evaluation of its positive consequences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, with effective terms such as 'price fluctuations' and 'geopolitical tensions,' despite occasional imprecise collocations.
Replace awkward choices such as 'a welcoming trend' with precise expressions such as 'a welcome development' and describe energy technologies more accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of sentence forms is used with strong control, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Refine isolated structures such as 'it is a welcoming trend that many countries have already started' to make complex sentences fully natural.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is extensively used in many countries which causes harm to the environment. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is being encouraged in many countries. Why the use of alternative sources of energy is being encouraged in many countries? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.