Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is extensively used in many countries which causes harm to the environment. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is being encouraged in many countries. Why the use of alternative sources of energy is being encouraged in many countries? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
Every year the energy demand is increasing globally. So the strains on the current and already limited resources are high. Since these energy resources, like fossil fuels, are mostly imported by countries, some countries have opted for alternative sources of energy to enjoy greater energy security. I wholeheartedly believe that it is a positive trend.
Alternative sources of energy offer greater energy security and independence and that is why their production and use is increasing. Relying on traditional energy sources, often imported from other countries, can leave nations vulnerable to price fluctuations and geopolitical tensions. Embracing renewable energy sources, such as hydroelectric, geothermal, or biomass, allows countries to tap into their own natural resources and reduce dependence on foreign energy imports. This is why renewable energy has already gained popularityit has already gained popularity.
Fossil fuels, like coal and oil, are finitenot unlimited. A few countries like Germany and Japan, for example, are completely dependent on imports of such resourceson the import of such resources. For all these countries, alternative energy, also known as green energy, is a solution for the futurethe answer for the future, and it is a welcomewelcoming trend that many countries have already started producing green energy. By embracing renewable energy options, countries can address climate change, enhance energy independence, create employment opportunities, and drive technological progress. Countries like France and Norway, among others, have invested in the technology needed to produce extremely efficient solar panels to store energy from the sun or produce wind power. The positive impacts of this development are numerousinnumerable and many countries are following in their footsteps.
In conclusion, the use of green energy sources is gaining traction because many countries want to become energy self-sufficient. This is definitely a positive trend as it reduces reliance on energy imports, helps countries fight climate change, advances technology and creates more jobsemployment.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay gives a clear position and develops a convincing central explanation around energy security, supported by several relevant benefits of renewable power. The main limitation is that the positive impacts are sometimes listed or repeated rather than explored in depth, while a few examples and collocations lack precision. Prioritise deeper explanation of one or two benefits and ensure each example clearly demonstrates the claim it supports.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly, and the position is clear and supported, although some positive effects receive more assertion than development.
Develop one major positive effect through a clear cause-and-result explanation instead of adding several briefly stated benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised and easy to follow, but the energy-security rationale is repeated across the introduction, body, and conclusion.
Give each body paragraph a more distinct function, separating the reasons for adoption from the evaluation of its positive consequences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, with effective terms such as 'price fluctuations' and 'geopolitical tensions,' despite occasional imprecise collocations.
Replace awkward choices such as 'a welcoming trend' with precise expressions such as 'a welcome development' and describe energy technologies more accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of sentence forms is used with strong control, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Refine isolated structures such as 'it is a welcoming trend that many countries have already started' to make complex sentences fully natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is extensively used in many countries which causes harm to the environment. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is being encouraged in many countries. Why the use of alternative sources of energy is being encouraged in many countries? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.