Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
Alternative medicine is not new. It is accepted that it pre-dates conventional medicine and it is still used by many people all over the world. I am unconvinced that it is dangerous, and feel that both alternative and conventional medicine can be useful.
There are several reasons why the conventional medical community is often dismissive of alternatives. Firstly, there has been little scientific research into such medicine, so there is a scarcity of evidence to support the claims of their supporters. Furthermore, people often try such treatment because of recommendations from friends, and therefore come to the therapist with a very positive attitude, which may be part of the reason for the cure. Moreover, these therapies are usually only useful for long-term, chronic conditions. Acute medical problems, such as accidental injury, often require more conventional methods.
On the other hand, there remain strong arguments for the use of alternatives. Despite the lack of scientific proof, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence to suggest that these therapies work. In addition, far from being dangerous, they often have few or no side effects, so the worst outcome would be no change. One of the strongest arguments for the effectiveness of alternative therapies in the West is that, whilst conventional medicine is available without charge, many people are prepared to pay considerable sums for alternatives. If they were totally unhelpful, it would be surprising if this continued.
I strongly believe that conventional medicine and alternative therapies can and should coexist. They have different strengths, and can both be used effectively to target particular medical problems. The best situation would be for alternative therapies to be used to support and complement conventional medicine.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard spelling Original: pre-dates Suggested revision: predates Why it matters: The closed form 'predates' is the standard modern spelling of this verb.
- 2. Clarify the referent Original: dismissive of alternatives Suggested revision: dismissive of alternative treatments Why it matters: Naming the treatments directly is more precise than the broad noun 'alternatives'.
- 3. Use precise plural Original: medicine Suggested revision: treatments Why it matters: The plural noun refers more clearly to the various forms of alternative medicine under discussion.
- 4. Use possessive form Original: claims of their supporters Suggested revision: their supporters’ claims Why it matters: The possessive construction is more direct and concise.
- 5. Use plural reference Original: treatment Suggested revision: treatments Why it matters: The plural form fits the general reference to different alternative therapies.
- 6. Clarify patient outcome Original: reason for the cure Suggested revision: reason for their recovery Why it matters: 'Their recovery' refers more naturally and clearly to the patients' improvement.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: long-term, chronic conditions Suggested revision: chronic conditions Why it matters: 'Chronic' already indicates that the conditions persist over a long period.
- 8. Use formal quantity Original: a lot of anecdotal evidence Suggested revision: considerable anecdotal evidence Why it matters: 'Considerable' gives the phrase a more appropriately formal academic register.
- 9. Use natural phrase Original: available without charge Suggested revision: available free of charge Why it matters: 'Free of charge' is the established expression for a service requiring no payment.
- 10. Specify the treatment Original: considerable sums for alternatives Suggested revision: considerable sums for alternative treatments Why it matters: The fuller noun phrase identifies exactly what people are paying for.
- 11. Use medical collocation Original: target Suggested revision: treat Why it matters: Therapies conventionally 'treat' medical problems rather than 'target' them.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: If they were totally unhelpful, it would be surprising if this continued. Suggested revision: If these therapies were completely ineffective, it would be surprising that people continued to pay for them. Why it matters: The rewrite replaces the vague pronouns with their intended referents and makes the logical link explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- pre-dates predates
- dismissive of alternatives dismissive of alternative treatments
- medicine treatments
- claims of their supporters their supporters’ claims
- treatment treatments
- reason for the cure reason for their recovery
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, nuanced position and develops both the reservations about alternative medicine and the case for its complementary use in a persuasive, logically structured argument. Its main limitation is that a few claims, such as the absence of side effects or continued demand as evidence of effectiveness, are asserted too broadly. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify these claims and support them with more rigorous reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The task is fully addressed through a clear position, well-developed counterarguments, and a relevant conclusion advocating complementary use.
Qualify broad claims about safety and effectiveness and test anecdotal or popularity-based evidence more critically.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through contrasting perspectives, with effective paragraphing and cohesive links that remain unobtrusive.
Strengthen the logical bridge from the limitations discussed in the second paragraph to the qualified endorsement that follows.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible throughout, with strong control of topic-specific and evaluative language.
Refine the few slightly general phrases by distinguishing treatments, therapies, evidence, and outcomes with even greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is used accurately and naturally, with errors rare and non-impeding.
Maintain this control while varying a few recurring introductory and concessive structures for greater stylistic flexibility.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.