Some people say that animals should not be exploited for the benefit of human beings unless there is evidence that the animals do not suffer in any way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
There is controversy about exploiting animals for human needs like farming, laboratory experimentationlab experimenting and using them as a source of protein. Animal rights activists are trying to stop all modern and traditional activities which involveactivities, which involve killing animals or causing them to suffer. Traditionalists are trying to convince the community that using living creatures for humanmen's needs is natural and cannot be avoided in everyday life. In this essay, we will explore this subject.
Activists, who defend animal rights, are telling the world that people should not use animals in any way that makes those animalsthat make those animal suffer. Moreover, they say that animals should have exactly the same rights as humans do. The reason is that people and animals are both living creatures and there should not be any difference in how they are treateddifference in treating them. Many extreme vegans refuse to eatare refusing to eat any food derived from animals, including milk and honeyfood of animal origin, even milk or honey. They are trying to convince people to do the same as they believe that killing animals and keeping them in captivity is not civilized.
Traditionalists disagree with the statement that humans should stop killing animals or using them to fulfil their needs. Since the beginning of human civilisation, there has beenFrom the very beginning of human civilisation, there is both a tradition and a vital needa tradition and vital need to use animals as a food source and their parts in traditional crafts. Without proteinproteins and vitamins of animal origin, the human body wouldn't receive all the nutrients it needsall nutrients it needs. Moreover, testing some medicinesmedicals on animals has already helpedanimals already helped to fight many diseases from which people have sufferedmany diseases people suffered from.
I think people should use animals forto their benefit, to some extent. I am sure that we shouldI am sure, we should not cause them to suffer orand die for our entertainmentfun activities. Although using animals for food is natural because humans areAlthough using animals for food is natural for humans as humans are at the top of the food chain, we should make sure we do not make them suffer unnecessarily.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents both ethical objections and practical arguments before reaching a clear, qualified position that animals may be used when unnecessary suffering is avoided. Its main limitation is that the writer's own reasoning appears late and some claims about nutrition and animal testing are asserted too broadly. Prioritise stating the position in the introduction and developing it through precise conditions and well-supported examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are relevant and the conclusion gives a qualified opinion, but the writer's position is delayed and its conditions are only partly developed.
State the qualified agreement at the outset and explain when animal use is justified, necessary, and demonstrably humane.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through opposing views to a conclusion, with clear paragraph roles and generally effective linking.
Use topic sentences that connect each body paragraph directly to the degree of agreement rather than merely labelling activist and traditionalist views.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the ethical debate, but several collocations and word choices are inaccurate or imprecise.
Replace lab experimenting, medicals, abolish suffering, and men's needs with natural, specific academic expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted and meaning remains clear, though agreement, articles, plurals, tense, and punctuation errors recur.
Check noun agreement and clause control in forms such as ways that make animals suffer and testing medicines has helped.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that animals should not be exploited for the benefit of human beings unless there is evidence that the animals do not suffer in any way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.