Today there is a great increase in antisocial behaviour and lack of respect to others. What are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce this problem？
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Sample Response
The pervading apathy and vitriolic behaviour towards othersinstances of apathy and vitriolic behaviour amongst each other have been a menace to society for a long time and they continue to growand that continues to grow even today. The possible causes and remedies have been touched upon in this essay.
The major foundational cause lies inreason and foundational cause of it are born with the way one is brought upone’s upbringing is subjected to, at large. The seed of rancour often germinates in childhood itself. Reports have suggested that children brought up in a toxic environment and violent households are twice as likelytwice as much imperilled to grow as individuals whowhich may by the conventional definitions and boundaries, be describedcalled as having anti-social tendencies. Similarly, being subjected to bullyingbully or snide remarks all through the process of growing upbeing grownup has reportedly been shownhave reportedly been suggestive of laying the foundations forlaying the baselines of rancorous demeanours and hence, asocial personalities. Another major reason could be reckless parenting, where children are often inclined towards learning from what they observelearning what they discern from extrinsic factors including peer pressure. Then, the notorious and most pronounced cause, the unregulated graphic contents majority of the people, primarily children are seen to be persuaded by.
The possible remedies and preventive measures that could be taken in this regard should include careful and attentive parentingshall be good and meticulous parenting. As is also said, “Childhood shows the man as the morning shows the day”, the early years of a person should be assiduously catered to. In schools and colleges, it is of prime importance to monitor the activities and be alert toalert and cautious to any actions suggestive of discrimination or suppression. They should be handled strictly and apposite actions should be taken likewise. Workplaces likewise should be diligent enough in taking notice oftaking into notice such episodes of apathy and culprits should be dealt with through appropriate actiondealt with with the rightful actions. Internal whistleblowers, anti-bullying squadssquad and other associations likewise could be of immense help. Overlooking these matters and avoiding the same generally en route to something grave and hence, should be spoken out and reported as whatever the case may be.
Conclusively, the scourge of antisocial behaviour could only be contained when these issues are not swept under the rugslipped under the rag of trivial matters.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay responds to both parts of the task with a broad set of relevant causes and practical measures, organized into a clear problem-solution structure. Its main weakness is an overly elaborate style that creates awkward, imprecise phrasing and occasionally obscures otherwise sound ideas. Prioritize expressing each cause and remedy in direct language, then support it with a clearly linked explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and measures are addressed with relevant ideas, though some points are asserted vaguely or left only partly explained.
Develop fewer points more fully by showing exactly how each cause produces antisocial behaviour and how each measure would reduce it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The causes and solutions are organized logically, but long, densely packed sentences and vague references sometimes interrupt progression.
Give each paragraph a focused internal sequence and replace unclear references such as it, they, and the same with precise nouns.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a wide vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and overformal word choices reduce accuracy and clarity.
Prefer direct, idiomatic wording and verify collocations instead of selecting elaborate terms whose meanings do not fit the context precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used frequently, but agreement errors, fragments, and awkward clause construction occur often despite generally clear meaning.
Shorten overloaded sentences and check that every clause has a grammatical subject, verb, and clearly related modifier.