Today there is a great increase in antisocial behaviour and lack of respect to others. What are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce this problem？
Sample Response
The widespread problem of anti-social behaviours and disrespectful attitudes towards others has long been a major topic of concern in society. Some of the major causesculprits of this problem will be discussed before the most important solutions are proposeddrawn.
Reasons for this alarming situation vary. In some cases, people may hold an anti-social attitude or disrespect others because they live in an environment where violence and discrimination are the norms. For example, children of sexist parents in rural families in Vietnam, irrespective of their gender, show a worrying tendency to disrespect womenshow a worrying tendency of disrespecting women. In some other cases, it is the lack of parental guidance that is to blame. As modern parents are becoming increasingly busy with their jobs, they may have a tendency to neglect their children’s educationthe proclivity to be indifferent to children’s education. When there is no one to help young children distinguish between right and wrongthe good and the bad, ill-mannered behaviourattitudes may emerge and develop among them without being controlled.
A number of definite actions could be taken to mitigate the problem. On the national level, the first obvious solution is to reduce violence and discrimination. As this would be a substantial undertakingAs this would be a massive act, voters and legislators should share responsibilityall the voters and legislators should be responsible. Together, they could call for stricter enforcement of the laws on violent and discriminatory acts to deter such actsdeter them from happening. Furthermore, on the nuclear-family level, parents must not underestimate the significance of their guidance for children. If they notice any signs of antisocial or insolent behaviour in their childrenan anti-social or insolent manner in children, they must explain clearly why this behaviour is unacceptableprovide them with negative evaluations of these signs. At the same time, parents could also educate their children about social manners by instilling prosocial values in theminstilling a pro-social sense in them. These actions, albeit small, could have a strong influence on children when they mature.
To conclude, it is clear that violence, discrimination, and the indifference of parents to children’s education are the major catalysts for the increase in anti-social behaviours and disrespect for others. Strong measures, such as stringent law enforcement on violent and discriminatory acts, must be taken to alleviate this distressing situation.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers both questions directly, develops relevant causes and solutions, and maintains a clear progression from analysis to recommendation. Its main weakness is occasional imprecise or overly elaborate phrasing, especially when describing parental intervention and collective responsibility. The highest-priority improvement is to express these otherwise strong ideas in more natural, exact language and sharpen how each proposed measure addresses its stated cause.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and measures are fully addressed through relevant, well-developed explanations and a specific example.
Make the national solution still more precise by explaining who should implement enforcement and how it would change behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised, with clear paragraph purposes and well-managed progression within each discussion.
Refine a few transitions so the movement from a cause to its corresponding solution is even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A broad and effective vocabulary supports precise discussion, although several collocations sound forced or slightly inaccurate.
Prefer natural combinations such as corrective guidance or coordinated action instead of inflated phrases whose meaning is less exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only minor lapses that do not hinder communication.
Polish occasional article, reference, and noun-choice constructions to make already controlled sentences more idiomatic.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today there is a great increase in antisocial behaviour and lack of respect to others. What are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce this problem？
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.