Today there is a great increase in antisocial behaviour and lack of respect to others. What are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce this problem？
Sample Response
In recent years, there has been a noticeable rise in antisocial behaviour and a general decline in respect for others. This troubling trend can be attributed to a variety of social and cultural factors. However, there are several effective measures that can be implemented to curb this growing issue.
One of the main causes of antisocial behaviour is the lack of proper parental guidance. In many households, both parents work long hours, which leaves children unsupervised and often emotionally neglected. As a result, they may turn to inappropriate peer groups or digital content that promotes disrespect and aggression. Furthermore, the overexposure to violent media and video games can desensitise young people to real-life consequences, encouraging rude or harmful actions. Another contributing factor is the decline in community values and social responsibility. Modern urban lifestyles tend to prioritise individual success over collective wellbeing, leading to a loss of empathy and disregard for others.
To address these issues, both parents and schools must play a more active role in shaping children’s behaviour. Parents should spend quality time with their children, instilling core values such as empathy, kindness, and respect. Schools, on the other hand, should integrate character education and promote community service activities to encourage responsible social behaviour. Additionally, governments and media companies can collaborate to limit the exposure of harmful content and promote positive role models through public campaigns and stricter regulations.
In conclusion, the rise in antisocial behaviour and lack of respect stems from inadequate upbringing, harmful media influences, and the erosion of communal values. With combined efforts from families, educational institutions, and authorities, these negative trends can be effectively reversed.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a clearer collocation Original: curb this growing issue Suggested revision: curb this worsening problem Why it matters: The verb 'curb' combines more naturally with 'problem' than with the vague noun 'issue'.
- 2. Make phrasing more concise Original: the lack of proper parental guidance Suggested revision: insufficient parental guidance Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses the same cause in a more direct academic style.
- 3. Improve the collocation Original: turn to inappropriate peer groups Suggested revision: fall in with harmful peer groups Why it matters: People typically 'fall in with' a peer group rather than 'turn to' one.
- 4. Clarify the category Original: the overexposure to violent media and video games Suggested revision: overexposure to violent media, including video games Why it matters: Treating video games as an example of media makes the relationship between the terms clearer.
- 5. Specify the consequence Original: desensitise young people to real-life consequences Suggested revision: desensitise young people to the real-life consequences of violence Why it matters: Adding the object of the consequences makes the causal claim more precise.
- 6. Use consistent formal wording Original: rude or harmful actions Suggested revision: disrespectful or harmful behaviour Why it matters: This wording is more formal and connects directly to the essay's subject.
- 7. Sharpen the comparison Original: prioritise individual success over collective wellbeing Suggested revision: prioritise individual success at the expense of collective wellbeing Why it matters: The replacement states the negative trade-off more precisely.
- 8. Restore parallel structure Original: a loss of empathy and disregard Suggested revision: a loss of empathy and a disregard Why it matters: The coordinated noun phrases both need a determiner for clear parallel structure.
- 9. Correct the collocation Original: limit the exposure of harmful content Suggested revision: limit exposure to harmful content Why it matters: The standard construction is 'exposure to' something, not 'exposure of' it.
- 10. Use a natural phrase Original: With combined efforts from Suggested revision: Through coordinated efforts by Why it matters: This replacement gives the concluding sentence a more natural and precise opening.
Suggested Rewrites
- curb this growing issue curb this worsening problem
- the lack of proper parental guidance insufficient parental guidance
- turn to inappropriate peer groups fall in with harmful peer groups
- the overexposure to violent media and video games overexposure to violent media, including video games
- desensitise young people to real-life consequences desensitise young people to the real-life consequences of violence
- rude or harmful actions disrespectful or harmful behaviour
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear, balanced treatment of both causes and remedies, with each main idea extended through relevant explanation. Its principal limitation is that support remains somewhat general, especially where claims about media influence and regulation could be made more concrete. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one or two points with more specific evidence or a carefully explained example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed directly through several relevant, well-developed causes and practical measures.
Deepen the support for one central cause or solution with a specific, fully explained example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with cohesion handled smoothly.
Strengthen the connection between each identified cause and its corresponding remedy to make the argument even more integrated.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys social causes and policy responses fluently, with natural control of less common expressions.
Add greater specificity to broad phrases such as harmful content and stricter regulations where the argument would benefit from precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence structures is used accurately and naturally, with strong control throughout.
Continue refining sentence rhythm by varying the length and structure of extended explanatory sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today there is a great increase in antisocial behaviour and lack of respect to others. What are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce this problem？
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.