Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is often argued that the government should finance public services instead of spending its budget on arts, music and theatre. Although I agree that the government’s investments in public services play a very important role, I think that proper funding for the arts sector is also crucial for society.
On the one hand, the government should definitely allocate a large part of its budget to public services. This economic sector determines the overall quality of life, ensuring that some basic services, like schools, hospitals and roads, are available to all citizens irrespective of their income or social status. Public services satisfy the primary needs of the society and thus need proper funding, while artists and musicians are not curing diseases or building houses, so their role is secondary. For example, any country can live without music concerts, but the absence of medicine will create significant problems. That is why the government should adequately finance public services in the first place.
On the other hand, arts, music and theatre are not a waste of money, since they are an integral part of society’s cultural and intellectual development and amusement. Firstly, art and music draw people’s attention to diverse phenomena and represent the inward significance of things. Quite often a single drawing, piece or song can exhort myriads of people to reconsider their attitude towards some situations. This way, art serves as a major source of a nation’s personal and intellectual development. Moreover, visiting museums, watching movies and listening to music are common ways of relaxation and entertainment. Thus, the art sector is also important to society and should not be neglected.
To conclude, though I agree that the government should allocate a large part of its budget to such urgent needs of the society like public services, I think that arts, music and theatre should also be financed since they play an important role in people’s development and entertainment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article Original: its budget on arts, music and theatre Suggested revision: its budget on the arts, music, and theatre Why it matters: Use the definite article when referring collectively to the arts.
- 2. Fix agreement Original: government’s investments in public services play Suggested revision: government’s investment in public services plays Why it matters: Treat investment as an uncountable singular activity here and use a singular verb.
- 3. Choose precise category Original: This economic sector Suggested revision: This area of public provision Why it matters: Public services are more precisely described as an area of provision than as one economic sector.
- 4. Use natural possessive Original: the primary needs of the society Suggested revision: society’s primary needs Why it matters: The possessive form is the more natural way to express this relationship.
- 5. Use natural subject Original: any country can live Suggested revision: any society can function Why it matters: A society can function, whereas saying that a country can live is an awkward personification.
- 6. Clarify the subject Original: arts, music and theatre are not a waste of money Suggested revision: spending on the arts, music, and theatre is not a waste of money Why it matters: The spending, rather than the art forms themselves, is what can be described as a waste of money.
- 7. Improve word choice Original: amusement Suggested revision: enjoyment Why it matters: Enjoyment is more natural than amusement when describing the broad social value of the arts.
- 8. Clarify abstract wording Original: represent the inward significance of things Suggested revision: convey the deeper significance of ideas Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the intended meaning more clearly and naturally.
- 9. Use appropriate wording Original: exhort myriads of people Suggested revision: encourage many people Why it matters: Exhort and myriads sound unnatural and overly forceful in this context.
- 10. Fix linking phrase Original: This way Suggested revision: In this way Why it matters: The fixed linking expression requires the preposition in.
- 11. Use logical possessor Original: a nation’s personal and intellectual development Suggested revision: its citizens’ personal and intellectual development Why it matters: Personal development applies to people within a nation rather than to the nation itself.
Suggested Rewrites
- its budget on arts, music and theatre its budget on the arts, music, and theatre
- government’s investments in public services play government’s investment in public services plays
- This economic sector This area of public provision
- the primary needs of the society society’s primary needs
- any country can live any society can function
- arts, music and theatre are not a waste of money spending on the arts, music, and theatre is not a waste of money
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, balanced position and develops both priorities through a logical, well-controlled argument, with particularly strong organization and sentence control. Its main limitation is occasional overstatement or imprecise, unnatural vocabulary in otherwise sophisticated discussion. The highest-priority improvement is to replace inflated expressions with precise, idiomatic wording while keeping the existing depth and balance.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the proposition through a clear qualified position and well-developed reasons for prioritizing services while continuing arts funding.
Make the supporting examples more concrete and specific to strengthen an already comprehensive argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader clearly without disrupting the argument.
Use slightly less formulaic transitions so the relationships between ideas feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary conveys abstract ideas effectively, though several inflated or awkward choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as overly grand verbs and vague abstract nouns with more idiomatic, exact wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only occasional minor article or phrasing lapses.
Refine article and comparison structures in phrases such as references to society's needs to improve consistency.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.