Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
The art, music and theatre constitute an integral part of the culture of any country. The government often found supporting these by arranging a requisite amount of funds but for some spending on these activities should ideally be utilised for the welfare of the country’s people as it otherwise does not serve any good purpose. I think there is nothing wrong in supporting arts of a country and government is the ideal body who should do this. With globalisation, often the culture of developing countries transforms to adopt the traits of developed countries. For example traditional street plays in India are things of past and people are more inclined toward watching movies, a culture from the western countries. This poses a threat to the existence of an intrinsic regional culture of a country which actually defines the spirit and uniqueness of the country. So it is the responsibility of the government to support traditional art, music and theatre which tends to carry the cultural heritage of a country. Every year a lot is spent by the government to promote regional art, music and theatre and this is something which people suggest is a waste of money. Prima facie it is correct, but on the other hand, it helps promote these features of a country which help the government to attract more and more tourists from other country and it also acts as the livelihood of the people who are solely dependent on these skills. For instance, nation foreign exchange has risen 20%, since the last five years, thanks to the increasing promotion by the government. To summarise, it may involve a huge cost for a nation to support art, music and theatre but it should be seen as an investment for supporting the unique heritage of the country.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: The art, music and theatre Suggested revision: Art, music and theatre Why it matters: General references to these art forms do not take the definite article.
- 2. Fix preposition and possession Original: wrong in supporting arts of a country Suggested revision: wrong with supporting a country's arts Why it matters: The expression is 'wrong with,' and the possessive form makes the relationship clear.
- 3. Add definite article Original: and government is the ideal body Suggested revision: and the government is the ideal body Why it matters: 'Government' refers to the specific national institution and needs 'the.'
- 4. Fix adverb position Original: With globalisation, often the culture Suggested revision: With globalisation, the culture Why it matters: Removing the misplaced adverb gives the clause a natural word order.
- 5. Clarify the change Original: transforms to adopt Suggested revision: changes as it adopts Why it matters: This wording expresses the relationship between cultural change and adoption more clearly.
- 6. Punctuate example marker Original: For example traditional Suggested revision: For example, traditional Why it matters: A comma is required after the introductory phrase 'For example.'
- 7. Add definite article Original: things of past Suggested revision: things of the past Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'a thing of the past.'
- 8. Clarify the description Original: toward watching movies, a culture from the western countries Suggested revision: towards watching films, a practice associated with Western countries Why it matters: Watching films is a practice rather than a culture, and 'Western' takes a capital letter.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: an intrinsic regional culture of a country Suggested revision: a country's distinctive regional culture Why it matters: 'Distinctive' and the possessive construction express the intended meaning more naturally.
- 10. Fix verb agreement Original: tends Suggested revision: tend Why it matters: The relative clause refers to the plural series 'art, music and theatre,' so the verb must be plural.
- 11. Clarify reported view Original: which people suggest is a waste of money Suggested revision: that some people suggest is a waste of money Why it matters: 'That' introduces the defining clause clearly, while 'some' avoids an unintended generalisation.
- 12. Use possessive phrase Original: nation foreign exchange Suggested revision: the nation's foreign exchange earnings Why it matters: The possessive noun and 'earnings' create the required natural expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- The art, music and theatre Art, music and theatre
- wrong in supporting arts of a country wrong with supporting a country's arts
- and government is the ideal body and the government is the ideal body
- With globalisation, often the culture With globalisation, the culture
- transforms to adopt changes as it adopts
- For example traditional For example, traditional
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, consistent defence of public arts funding through cultural preservation and economic benefits. The main limitation is that the competing claim about investing in public services is only briefly acknowledged, and some supporting claims remain general or awkwardly expressed. The highest-priority improvement is to engage more directly with that spending trade-off and support the rebuttal with a precise, credible example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant arguments about heritage, tourism, and livelihoods, although the public-services alternative receives limited consideration.
Explain explicitly why arts funding remains justified when governments also face essential public-service demands.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a generally clear sequence, but limited paragraphing and some overloaded sentences weaken the flow between stages.
Separate the cultural and economic arguments into distinct paragraphs with clearer topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary, though several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Choose more natural formulations for government support, cultural change, livelihoods, and foreign-exchange earnings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures communicate the argument clearly overall, but errors in articles, agreement, punctuation, and clause construction recur.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and accurate noun phrases before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.