Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
In an era when plenty of young people suffer injuries from extreme sports, the question of whether extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing, which can easily cause injury or death, should be banned has sparked an intense debate. While some people argue that these risky activities should be banned, I firmly believe they should remain legalthey should not be banned.
There are many reasons why extreme sports should not be banned. Firstly, extreme sports provide local communities withhelp local people get more job opportunities. Many tourist destinations attract numerous visitorslots of visitors who want to try skiing or skydiving. These tourists need coaches, service workers, and hotel staffcoaches, service workers and hotel staff, so many local people can make a living. If the government bans these sports, many people will lose their jobs and local tourism will decline. Secondly, this industry can generate more tax revenue for the government. Companies and workers in the extreme sports sector pay taxes every year. The government can use this money to build roads, improve public facilities and support local education, which benefits social development.
It is true that banning extreme sports brings some obvious benefits. First, extreme sports carry great risks and can easily cause physical injuries. If these sports are banned, fewer people will be hurt in dangerous sports accidents. This can help hospitals conserve valuable medical resourcessave plenty of medical resources for other patients in need. Second, many teenagers tend to copy dangerous extreme sports videos online. Banning extreme sports can effectively protect young people and prevent many unnecessary avoidablesafety accidents.
In conclusion, extreme sports have some disadvantages, such as causing injuries and influencing young people. However, they bring great economic benefits to society. They provide many employmentwork opportunities and increase government tax revenuesincome. Therefore, I think extreme sports should not be banned by the government.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and consistent position throughout, supported by logically organised paragraphs and relevant economic arguments against a total ban. The overall structure is coherent and the grammar and vocabulary are controlled with good accuracy. To enhance the essay further, address the safety counterarguments more directly by explaining why strict regulations or safety standards are a better solution than an outright ban.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You maintain a clear position throughout the essay and support your stance with well-developed economic reasons.
Directly refute the counterarguments on safety by explaining how regulations can mitigate risks instead of a total ban.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized logically with clear paragraphing and effective transitional phrases throughout.
Vary cohesive devices beyond simple sequence markers like 'firstly' and 'secondly' to create a more sophisticated flow.
Lexical Resource
You use a good range of topic-specific vocabulary and phrase choices accurately.
Incorporate a wider variety of synonyms for key terms such as 'extreme sports' and 'banned' to reduce word repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are well-controlled, showing good accuracy across both simple and complex sentences.
Introduce greater structural variety by using passive constructions or conditional clauses to add complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.