Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
In an era when a growing number of young peopleplenty of young people suffer injuries from extreme sports, the question of whether extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing, which can easily cause injury or death, should be banned has sparked an intense debate. While some people argue that these risky activities should be banned, I firmly believe they should not be banned. There are many reasons why extreme sports should not be banned. Firstly, extreme sports provide local residents with valuable employment opportunitieshelp local people get more job opportunities. Many tourist destinations attract numerous visitorslots of visitors who want to try skiing or skydiving. These tourists need certified instructors, service personnel, and hospitality staffcoaches, service workers and hotel staff, so many local people can earn a livelihoodmake a living. If the government bans these sports, many people will lose their jobs and local tourism will decline, affecting their living standards due to decreased disposable income. Secondly, this industry can generate more tax revenue for the government. Companies and workers in the extreme sports sector pay taxes every year. The government can use this money to build roads, improve public facilities and support local education, which benefits social development in the long termlong-term. It is true that banning extreme sports brings some obvious benefits. PrimarilyFirst, extreme sports carry great risks and can easily cause physical injuries since there are few regulations that can regulate the operations of companiessupervise the behavior of enterprises that organize extreme sports. If these sports are banned, fewer people will be hurt in dangerous sports accidents. This can help hospitals save substantial medical resourcesplenty of medical resources for other patients in need. There is no denying that it is unfair to waste limited medical resources on certain people's freedomfor certain people’s freedom. In conclusion, extreme sports have some disadvantages, such as causing injuries and influencing young people. However, they bring great economic benefits to society. They provide many employmentwork opportunities and increase government tax income. Therefore, I think the government should strengthen the supervision of this industry to improve safetyimprove the security.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and well-supported argument against banning extreme sports, effectively balancing the main stance with a logical counter-perspective. Ideas are logically organised across structured paragraphs with flexible vocabulary and sound grammatical accuracy. To raise the writing to a higher standard, deepen the focus on personal freedom or safety regulation and vary cohesive devices further.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You state a clear position throughout the essay and address the prompt directly with relevant supporting arguments.
Provide more nuanced analysis directly addressing the safety or personal freedom aspects alongside economic benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured into clear paragraphs with transparent progression and cohesive transitions.
Vary cohesive markers beyond standard ordering devices like 'firstly' and 'secondly' to create a more natural flow.
Lexical Resource
You demonstrate a good range of topic-specific vocabulary and collocation control across the response.
Incorporate a wider range of precise lexical choices while avoiding repetitive terms like 'ban' or 'extreme sports'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex structure types is used with consistently accurate grammar and punctuation.
Experiment with more sophisticated sentence structures, such as inversion or reduced relative clauses, while maintaining total accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.