A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment?
Sample Response
From the very beginning of the modern society concept human have structured the community in such a way where the commercial and industrial areas are separated from the residential area. Even after so many new concepts around residential buildings and modern cities, the basic concept of separating the industrial area from the residential area has remained strong among the city architects and its adoption has been worldwide. So, I would absolutely refute the idea of having a large factory near my community as it would have lots of negative effects. To support my opinion I would consider reasons like pollutions and disturbance to the calm ambience of the entire surrounding.
Factories manufacture and process different types of goods including electronics and chemical goods. While it generates employment and revenue, it also pollutes the environment. A large factory can be responsible for high noise pollution, water pollution and air pollution. Water pollution can contaminate the hydra resulting in health problems to the people of the society. Air pollution can annoy the residents who look forward to a serene society at the end of a tiring day. It will also adversely affect the children by exposing them to the polluted air thrown out by the factory. As a result, children will have to stop playing at the playgrounds in the society and their mental and physical growth would be hampered. Thus, pollution is the last thing the people of the society would prefer to deal with, in their day-to-day life.
My society is located at a very neat and calm location. Having a large factory near the society would result into disturbing the peaceful environment near our locality. The society offers a nice park alongside a small lake which is used by elderly, exercise enthusiasts and animals daily to freshen up and enjoy the natural bliss. With the advent of a factory in the area could lead to spoiling the ambience of the park and the locality. To add to the sufferings, factories would also increase the traffic in the locality. An increase in traffic means more time on commute resulting in more stress for an individual.
To conclude, I would say that large factories do have advantages like more employment and more revenue but it should not impact the residential areas. The factories should be built outside the residential zone thus not disturbing the people living nearby. Thus, I would recommend having the factories out of the city in the factory zone to realise its real unadulterated benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix noun phrase Original: the modern society concept Suggested revision: the concept of modern society Why it matters: The of-phrase gives the abstract concept a natural structure.
- 2. Fix plural subject Original: human Suggested revision: humans Why it matters: The general reference requires the plural noun humans.
- 3. Use result clause Original: where Suggested revision: that Why it matters: That correctly introduces the result of how communities were structured.
- 4. Use plural areas Original: areas are separated from the residential area Suggested revision: areas are separated from residential areas Why it matters: The general contrast concerns multiple residential areas and does not need the article.
- 5. Use planning profession Original: among the city architects Suggested revision: among urban planners Why it matters: Urban planners more precisely names the professionals responsible for city zoning.
- 6. Use proposal verb Original: refute the idea of having Suggested revision: oppose the proposal to have Why it matters: People oppose a proposal; refute is used for disproving an argument.
- 7. Use uncountable pollution Original: reasons like pollutions Suggested revision: reasons such as pollution Why it matters: Pollution is uncountable, and such as formally introduces examples.
- 8. Use area noun Original: the entire surrounding Suggested revision: the surrounding area Why it matters: Surrounding normally functions as an adjective before area.
- 9. Match plural antecedent Original: While it generates employment Suggested revision: While they generate employment Why it matters: They agrees with the plural subject factories in the preceding sentence.
- 10. Use severity adjective Original: high Suggested revision: severe Why it matters: Severe naturally describes the intensity of pollution.
- 11. Name water source Original: contaminate the hydra Suggested revision: contaminate water sources Why it matters: Hydra does not mean the community's water supply.
- 12. Fix affected-person preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: For correctly introduces the people who experience the health problems.
Suggested Rewrites
- the modern society concept the concept of modern society
- human humans
- where that
- areas are separated from the residential area areas are separated from residential areas
- among the city architects among urban planners
- refute the idea of having oppose the proposal to have
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response sustains a clear opposition to the proposed factory and develops its environmental, recreational, and traffic costs in a logical sequence. The discussion is uneven because employment and revenue are merely acknowledged rather than explained as community benefits, while several language errors and inaccurate word choices reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the advantages fairly before weighing them explicitly against the local disadvantages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and the disadvantages are well developed, but the required advantages receive only brief acknowledgement.
Add a developed paragraph explaining how employment and tax revenue could benefit residents before justifying the final opposition.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organised into focused paragraphs, and the argument progresses clearly from pollution to disruption and the conclusion.
Use the conclusion to compare the developed costs directly with the potential benefits rather than restating the preferred location.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, but inaccurate choices and collocations such as hydra and result into recur.
Choose precise terms for water sources, residential surroundings, commuting, and industrial emissions, and remove inflated phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and clause-construction errors are noticeable.
Check sentence subjects and dependent-clause structures carefully, especially after while and with introductory phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.