As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that businesses should take social responsibilitybear some responsibility to society in addition to making profits. I personallypersonaly agree with this viewpoint as I believe that without such responsibilities, private companies can cause substantial harmtoo much harm to people and the planet for the sake of money.
On the one hand, it is essential for businesses to generate profits in order to survive in today’s competitive markets. Firstly, the primary objective of any firm should be to coverdeal with the company's day to day running costs, including staff salaries, rentproperty rental fees, and other necessary expenses. Any social responsibility would be meaningless ifmeaningless, if a company is unable to cover its basic expenses to supply itstheir products or services to the public. Secondly, profits are also required to be reinvestedreinvested back into the company in order to fund improvements and innovationsfor improvements and innovations to be successful. In other words, an enterprise must be in good financial health before it can make any positive contribution to society.
On the other hand, there are several compelling reasons why businesses should also contribute to the communitiesgive back to the societies in which they operate. The chief reasonThe chief reason among these is that companies need to be concerned about the detrimental effects that their operations may havemay be having on the environment. Furthermore, by contributing to society, businesses can enhance their image, which in the long term may also enhance their salesbusiness sales. Donations to local charities, educational programs, or environmental projects areDonating to local charities, educational programs or environmental projects are practical contributions that firms can make to both fulfill their social duties and promote their image among local communitiescitizens and residents.
In conclusion, while businesses should prioritize making profitsmaking profits should be prioritized, it is also important to consider social contributionsthe social contribution.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is well focused, logically organised, and supported with relevant explanations of why financial stability and social responsibility can coexist. Its main limitation is that some claims remain general and the conclusion does not fully restate the qualified position developed in the body. The highest-priority improvement is to sharpen the final position and support the environmental and social arguments with more precise cause-and-effect detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear agreement, addresses both commercial necessity and social responsibility, and develops relevant supporting reasons.
Make the qualified degree of agreement explicit in the conclusion and deepen one social-responsibility example with a concrete outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used effectively throughout.
Use a slightly less formulaic transition between the two body arguments while preserving their clear logical relationship.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary supports the argument, although a few spelling errors and awkward collocations remain.
Refine phrases such as business sales and social contribution into more natural expressions such as revenue and contributions to society.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex sentences is used with good control, though several minor agreement, pronoun, and punctuation errors occur.
Check agreement and reference carefully in longer sentences, especially when shifting between a singular company and plural pronouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.