As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Today, some claim that businesses should also have social obligations. While I acknowledge that the primary purpose of any company is to generate profits, businesses should also make social contributions within their sphere of influence.
On the one hand, it seems logical that the primary objective of companies operatingengaged in a free market should be to achieve sound financial health. Every form of organization incurs expenditures. Office space, legal costs, payroll, company credit cards, and other institutional expenditures can be substantialmay rise exponentially. According to the U.S. Small Business Administration, the average cost to establish a micro-business is approximately $3,000, whereas the estimated cost to startinitiate a home-based franchise is almost $5,000. In addition to these one-time costsfees, utilities and other recurring expenses must also be paidmust also be paid periodically. Without being realistic about a startup's cashfinancial flow and debt, the owner will be unable to operate. In these situations, the societal obligations of a company become obsolete.
On the other hand, there is no distinction between individuals and businesses regarding their ethical responsibilities. Given that social problems can be addressedsocial evils are solvable, businesses should share responsibility with governments for improving societyshare equal accountability with governments for society's betterment. For instance, the Vietnamese YouTube channel "Quang Linh Vlogs" has received enthusiastic support from both Vietnamese people and Angolansboth Vietnamese and Angolans. In the recordings, Linh and his team instruct local Angolans on how to grow vegetables and raise livestock. Linh also launched a social project to assist 5,000 underprivileged children in school by renovating and equipping classrooms. They proved that it is more humanitarian for businesses to contribute to society than to maximize revenue.
In conclusion, although I agree that making money is the top priority for businesses, they should also make social contributions within their reasonable purview.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response maintains a clear, qualified position and develops both commercial necessity and social responsibility with relevant, specific support. Its main limitation is that the first body paragraph spends too much space listing operating costs and ends with an overstrong claim that weakens the stated balance. The highest-priority improvement is to connect financial viability more directly to the realistic scope and timing of a company’s social duties.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly answers the question with a clear qualified view and develops both sides, though the claim that social obligations become obsolete is insufficiently nuanced.
Relate the financial examples more explicitly to when and how businesses can reasonably undertake social responsibilities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced clearly in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly through the contrasting considerations.
Trim the extended list of business expenses so the first body paragraph retains sharper argumentative focus.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging and generally precise, with effective topic language, although a few combinations sound overstated or unnatural.
Choose more measured, idiomatic wording for claims about rising costs, financial position, and social problems.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is used accurately, with strong control of punctuation and only minor lapses.
Maintain this control while checking reference and number consistency in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.