Many people say that film stars, musicians and sports stars are highly paid whereas professionals of other important sectors are comparatively less paid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In your opinion which types of job should be highly paid?
Sample Response
There is a general believe that famous actors, singers or people who write famous songs and sports legends have a huge salary. However, I firmly believe that it is obvious and fair that the payment of famous people like movie stars, pop musicians or sports champions have is much higher than the salaries of different other professionals.
First of all, there is no doubt that the amount of payment of stars should be much higher than the amount of salaries of different kinds of work because people’s salary depends on the profit of the business and the expense. For example, in order to produce a movie or sing a song or do some sports activity, usually, people do not spend a lot of money. However, when their work becomes famous they have a huge amount of salary because their work is very popular and many people buy this movie or go to the theatre to watch the famous film.
The next point that needs to be taken into consideration is that famous artists have huge salaries because of their works are special and exceptional. For example, no one has the same voice as Madonna or Celine Dion. Another example is that no one can act in a play as can Antonio Banderas. Whereas, a lot of people can be accountants, lawyers or doctors. Many people can learn, who to do these kinds of job and simply repeat the work according to written and already adopted rules. For these reasons, special professions such as movie stars, sports legends or pop musicians should have a bigger salary than people from different professions.
To sum up, it is evident that famous people should have bigger remuneration that people who have different professions because they produce special and extremely popular work that impossible to copy by anyone else. While accountant, lawyer or doctor position could be done by a lot of people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use belief noun Original: believe Suggested revision: belief Why it matters: "Belief" is the required noun; "believe" is a verb.
- 2. Use songwriters Original: people who write famous songs Suggested revision: songwriters Why it matters: The single profession noun is clearer and more concise.
- 3. Use plural salaries Original: have a huge salary Suggested revision: earn high salaries Why it matters: The plural subject requires a plural object, and people earn salaries.
- 4. Use earnings such as Original: payment of famous people like Suggested revision: earnings of famous people such as Why it matters: "Earnings" is precise, and "such as" correctly introduces examples.
- 5. Remove stray verb Original: sports champions have is Suggested revision: sports champions are Why it matters: The extra "have" makes the comparison ungrammatical.
- 6. Use other professionals Original: different other professionals Suggested revision: other professionals Why it matters: "Different" is redundant before "other."
- 7. Use stars' earnings Original: amount of payment of stars Suggested revision: earnings of stars Why it matters: "Earnings" is the natural term for income received by performers.
- 8. Use other professions Original: amount of salaries of different kinds of work Suggested revision: salaries in other professions Why it matters: Jobs and professions have salary levels; kinds of work do not have an amount of salaries.
- 9. Fix plural agreement Original: people’s salary depends Suggested revision: people's salaries depend Why it matters: The plural possessive subject requires "salaries depend."
- 10. Use profits and expenses Original: the profit of the business and the expense Suggested revision: business profits and expenses Why it matters: The plural business terms express the economic factors naturally.
- 11. Use precise activities Original: sing a song or do some sports activity Suggested revision: record a song or compete in a sporting event Why it matters: These verbs describe professional creative and sporting work accurately.
- 12. Add clause comma Original: work becomes famous they Suggested revision: work becomes famous, they Why it matters: A comma is required after the introductory dependent clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- believe belief
- people who write famous songs songwriters
- have a huge salary earn high salaries
- payment of famous people like earnings of famous people such as
- sports champions have is sports champions are
- different other professionals other professionals
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states a clear position and offers two recognisable reasons for high celebrity pay—commercial demand and exceptional talent—with relevant named examples. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes implausible development: it barely evaluates which socially important jobs deserve high pay and makes unsupported claims that films cost little and doctors are easily replaceable; prioritise addressing both question parts through balanced criteria such as skill, scarcity, responsibility, and social value.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position on celebrity pay is clear and supported by demand and rarity arguments, but the second question about which jobs should be highly paid receives a narrow and weakly justified answer.
Compare entertainment work with roles such as doctors or emergency professionals using explicit criteria including training, responsibility, scarcity, revenue, and public value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body ideas, and conclusion, though progression is weakened by repetitive framing and several fragmentary examples.
Give each paragraph a precise claim, explanation, and credible example, and integrate examples into complete sentences rather than using isolated Whereas clauses.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of salary and professional vocabulary, but frequent word-form and collocational errors limit precision.
Use belief, earn high salaries, production costs, remuneration, and highly skilled professionals accurately, while avoiding repeated vague phrases such as different professions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent agreement, comparison, article, and clause-completion errors occur throughout the essay.
Proofread every sentence for a complete main clause and accurate comparisons, using forms such as artists' pay is higher than and work that is impossible to copy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that film stars, musicians and sports stars are highly paid whereas professionals of other important sectors are comparatively less paid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In your opinion which types of job should be highly paid?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.