Many people say that film stars, musicians and sports stars are highly paid whereas professionals of other important sectors are comparatively less paid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In your opinion which types of job should be highly paid?
Sample Response
There is a general beliefbelieve that famous actors, singers or songwriterspeople who write famous songs and sports legends earn high salarieshave a huge salary. However, I firmly believe that it is obvious and fair that the earnings of famous people such aspayment of famous people like movie stars, pop musicians or sports champions aresports champions have is much higher than the salaries of other professionalsdifferent other professionals.
First of all, there is no doubt that the earnings of starsamount of payment of stars should be much higher than the salaries in other professionsamount of salaries of different kinds of work because people's salaries dependpeople’s salary depends on business profits and expensesthe profit of the business and the expense. For example, in order to produce a movie or record a song or compete in a sporting eventsing a song or do some sports activity, usually, people do not spend a lot of money. However, when their work becomes famous, theywork becomes famous they earn very high salarieshave a huge amount of salary because their work is very popular and many people buy tickets for the filmbuy this movie or go to the theatre to watch the famous film.
The next point that needs to be taken into consideration is that famous artists have huge salaries because their work isbecause of their works are special and exceptional. For example, no one has the same voice as Madonna or Celine Dion. Another example is that no one can act in a play as Antonio Banderas canact in a play as can Antonio Banderas. By contrast,Whereas, a lot of people can be accountants, lawyers or doctors. Many people can learn how to dolearn, who to do these kinds of jobsjob and simply repeat the work according to written and already adopted rules. For these reasons, special professions such as movie stars, sports legends or pop musicians should have a bigger salary than people from different professions.
To sum up, it is evident that famous people should have higher remuneration thanbigger remuneration that people who have different professions because they produce special and extremely popular work that impossible to copy by anyone else. While accountant, lawyer or doctor position could be done by a lot of people.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states a clear position and offers two recognisable reasons for high celebrity pay—commercial demand and exceptional talent—with relevant named examples. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes implausible development: it barely evaluates which socially important jobs deserve high pay and makes unsupported claims that films cost little and doctors are easily replaceable; prioritise addressing both question parts through balanced criteria such as skill, scarcity, responsibility, and social value.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position on celebrity pay is clear and supported by demand and rarity arguments, but the second question about which jobs should be highly paid receives a narrow and weakly justified answer.
Compare entertainment work with roles such as doctors or emergency professionals using explicit criteria including training, responsibility, scarcity, revenue, and public value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body ideas, and conclusion, though progression is weakened by repetitive framing and several fragmentary examples.
Give each paragraph a precise claim, explanation, and credible example, and integrate examples into complete sentences rather than using isolated Whereas clauses.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of salary and professional vocabulary, but frequent word-form and collocational errors limit precision.
Use belief, earn high salaries, production costs, remuneration, and highly skilled professionals accurately, while avoiding repeated vague phrases such as different professions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent agreement, comparison, article, and clause-completion errors occur throughout the essay.
Proofread every sentence for a complete main clause and accurate comparisons, using forms such as artists' pay is higher than and work that is impossible to copy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that film stars, musicians and sports stars are highly paid whereas professionals of other important sectors are comparatively less paid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In your opinion which types of job should be highly paid?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.