Children in some parts of the world today have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
How much responsibility a child takes nowadays and whether modern children have fewer obligations than in the past is disputable. While youngsters in some countries still take on several responsibilities, many, in other countries, are busy with their education, sports and hobbies. I believe that the way children take responsibility in the modern world has changed over time, mostly as a positive development.
To begin with, the social, economic and family structure in the past, in most countries, forced parents to distribute responsibilities among children. However, with the change in the family structure and social norms, people, these days, want their children to excel in education and other creative fields rather than taking care of the house chores. With the rise of the nuclear family and one-or-two-children family policy, parents now focus on children's education, unlike in the past. Therefore, they are not expected to earn money or do household work in a well-to-do family. With the increasing literacy rates, gender equality, women empowerment and a better lifestyle, the trend has more positive outcomes, without a doubt.
Moreover, the decreased burden of responsibilities allows children to explore a wider array of interests and hobbies, fostering creativity and critical thinking. In the past, many children were confined to specific roles and duties that left little room for personal exploration. Today, with reduced household and labour demands, children have the liberty to engage in extracurricular activities, pursue diverse interests, and develop a broader skill set.
To conclude, these days, we want our children to be the best scorers, the best athletes, and outshine in everything they do, unlike in the past when parents wanted assistance from their offspring to support the family. Thus the changes have brought numerous positive outcomes, and the move was inevitable with the paradigm shift of social structure.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a general plural Original: How much responsibility a child takes Suggested revision: How much responsibility children take Why it matters: The sentence discusses children generally, so the plural noun is appropriate.
- 2. Use a direct time reference Original: modern children have fewer obligations Suggested revision: children today have fewer obligations Why it matters: “Children today” expresses the time comparison more directly than “modern children.”
- 3. Remove unnecessary commas Original: many, in other countries, are busy Suggested revision: many in other countries are busy Why it matters: The prepositional phrase identifies which children are meant and should not be set off by commas.
- 4. Complete the evaluation Original: has changed over time, mostly as a positive development Suggested revision: has changed over time, and this is mostly a positive development Why it matters: A full coordinated clause is needed to state the writer's evaluation clearly.
- 5. Use the plural noun Original: the social, economic and family structure Suggested revision: social, economic and family structures Why it matters: The list refers to several distinct structures, so the noun should be plural.
- 6. Remove unnecessary commas Original: people, these days, want Suggested revision: people these days want Why it matters: The short time phrase is integrated into the clause and does not need commas.
- 7. Use the standard phrase Original: the house chores Suggested revision: household chores Why it matters: “Household chores” is the conventional phrase and does not take an article in this general reference.
- 8. Use the general plural Original: in a well-to-do family Suggested revision: in well-to-do families Why it matters: The claim applies generally to multiple affluent families, so the plural is more appropriate.
- 9. Use the possessive noun Original: women Suggested revision: women's Why it matters: The empowerment of women is expressed with the possessive form “women's.”
- 10. Use present perfect Original: the trend has more positive outcomes Suggested revision: the trend has had more positive outcomes Why it matters: The present perfect requires the past participle “had” after the auxiliary “has.”
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: To conclude, these days, we want our children to be the best scorers, the best athletes, and outshine in everything they do, unlike in the past when parents wanted assistance from their offspring to support the family. Suggested revision: To conclude, parents today want their children to be top students and athletes and to excel in everything they do, unlike parents in the past, who expected their children to help support the family. Why it matters: The rewrite maintains parallel verb forms and clarifies both sides of the comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- How much responsibility a child takes How much responsibility children take
- modern children have fewer obligations children today have fewer obligations
- many, in other countries, are busy many in other countries are busy
- has changed over time, mostly as a positive development has changed over time, and this is mostly a positive development
- the social, economic and family structure social, economic and family structures
- people, these days, want people these days want
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly answers the question with a consistent positive position and develops that view through relevant social changes and benefits for children's education, creativity, and wider skills. Its main limitation is that some causal claims in the first body paragraph are asserted in a broad list rather than closely explained. The best improvement would be to deepen one of those claims with a specific, carefully connected example while retaining the strong overall structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the development as positive, with a clear position and relevant, well-extended reasons about education and personal growth.
Strengthen the first main idea by explaining more precisely how one social change reduces children's burdens and produces a positive outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced across well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the argument smoothly.
Refine transitions within the first body paragraph so its several social factors form one explicit cause-and-effect chain rather than a list.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional slightly awkward expressions and collocations.
Polish less natural phrases such as best scorers and paradigm shift of social structure to make the style consistently idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures with strong control, though a few punctuation, article, and phrasing slips remain.
Review comma placement and noun-phrase construction in longer sentences to make already strong grammatical control more consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children in some parts of the world today have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.