Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree? Write not less than 250 words.
Sample Response
Nowadays, young children use computers so frequently that some even use them for more than 10 hours every daymore than 10 hours every day. Although some people believe that this level of computer use has no harmful effectsthe phenomenon has no harmful effects on young children, I agree that its disadvantagesthe disadvantages of it outweigh the advantages. To begin with, the benefits of using a computer are widely recognisedadmitted. As high-tech tools, computers provide children with varieddiversified methods to support efficient learningto help them learn efficiently. Animated web pages and engagingincentive applications are designed for teaching and inspiring them to access more information and that process expands their horizons as a result. Also, children are easily attractedchildren are attracted easily by the interactivity of educational computer programsthe interactions in educational computer programs, which helps them absorb knowledge effectivelyso that they absorb knowledge effectively in a lively atmosphere, and such programs are welcomedit proves to be welcomed by both parents and teachers. On the other hand, negative impacts of using a computer every day need to be emphasised. Since young children have not yet developed adequate self-controlhave only acquired inadequate self-control, they are likely to be addicted to computers, video games in particular. Spending too much time on computer games, children will lose their interest in studying as well as communicating with their peers. Moreover, their values and perspectives onof the real world might not be well developed once they fall in love with the virtual world, which will have a detrimental influence on their future. Again, using computers for long hours has both physical and psychological effects that would be even more devastating for young children. In conclusion, though computers are helpful to youngsters’ studiesstudy, the adverse effects they cause carry more weightthe adverse effects they bring weigh more. It is acceptable that youngsters use computers two or three times a week, but parents still need to be aware of harmful contentthe unhealthy information on the internet and video gamegames addiction of their offspring.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, consistent position supported by a logical contrast between educational benefits and risks to children’s study, social development, and wellbeing. Its main limitation is that a few claims, especially the physical and psychological effects, are asserted rather than explained; the highest-priority improvement is to develop those consequences with specific reasoning while refining occasional awkward collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, maintains a clear position, and supports it with relevant benefits and several developed disadvantages.
Explain the stated physical and psychological effects in detail instead of leaving that final reason as a general assertion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised into a clear introduction, contrasting body sections, and conclusion, with logical progression throughout.
Use more precise internal transitions so additions such as “Again” show the exact relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently broad vocabulary conveys educational, social, and health effects precisely despite several awkward collocations.
Refine combinations such as “motivating applications,” “limited self-control,” and “video-game addiction” for more natural expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is generally well controlled, and the occasional structural or agreement error does not impede meaning.
Review pronoun reference and long coordinated sentences to ensure every clause has a clear grammatical subject.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree? Write not less than 250 words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.