Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.
Sample Response
People are becoming more and more carefree and can go way out of the ordinary when it comes to risky sports. Because of the fame and the monetary reward that some unsafe sports provide, it has been common practice among many sports professionals to go to the extremes of the risk limits. Below paragraphs shall discuss reasons why people dare to choose these sports, following recommendations to safeguard against such dangers.
There are several reasons why many people like threatening sports. The abundant amount of monetary income and astonishing fame allowing them to become global celebrities are some of the main reasons which in turn lead to adrenalin rush among the sports professionals to participate in unsafe sporting activities. The racing drivers are the people who daily undergo such high-risk conditions, for instance, however, they are willing to do it repeatedly due to the rewards that they receive through this.
Safety measures and standard instructions are always there in place for the majority of the mincing sports when it comes to practising them. Firstly, sports person should train oneself under experienced coach, which will help to get an overall idea about dangers associated with the particular sport. Secondly, a person ought to take proper precautions according to the standard guidelines outlined. For instance, racing drivers should always wear fire-proof jackets to better protect them from fire accidents. Finally, these kinds of activities should be performed after the careful inspection of a sporting venue and the sports equipment by safety experts.
In conclusion, many people like to participate in life-threatening sports activities for various reasons like money, popularity etc. However, one should be circumspect about the dangers of such activities and better follow safety guidelines and train well in advance before practising them. Also, governments can define some safety norms for unsafe sports.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Choose precise adjective Original: carefree Suggested revision: reckless Why it matters: 'Reckless' accurately describes taking insufficient care in dangerous situations.
- 2. Use natural expression Original: go way out of the ordinary Suggested revision: take extraordinary risks Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural and does not clearly express excessive risk-taking.
- 3. Use plural reward Original: the monetary reward Suggested revision: monetary rewards Why it matters: The general reference to incentives requires the plural form.
- 4. Fix clause subject Original: it has been common practice among many sports professionals to go Suggested revision: many professional athletes commonly go Why it matters: The revision gives the clause a clear human subject that can take risks.
- 5. Use clear risk phrase Original: the extremes of the risk limits Suggested revision: the limits of acceptable risk Why it matters: The original combination is redundant and unnatural.
- 6. Add definite article Original: Below paragraphs Suggested revision: The following paragraphs Why it matters: The conventional phrase requires the article and the adjective 'following'.
- 7. Link the sequence Original: following recommendations Suggested revision: followed by recommendations Why it matters: The passive participle correctly shows that the recommendations come after the reasons.
- 8. Use accurate term Original: threatening Suggested revision: dangerous Why it matters: 'Dangerous' describes sports that pose risks, whereas 'threatening' suggests an active threat.
- 9. Remove redundant wording Original: are always there in place Suggested revision: are generally in place Why it matters: 'There' and 'in place' redundantly express the same idea.
- 10. Correct inappropriate word Original: the majority of the mincing sports Suggested revision: most dangerous sports Why it matters: 'Mincing' does not describe hazardous sporting activities.
- 11. Use correct noun form Original: sports person Suggested revision: a sportsperson Why it matters: The singular count noun needs an article and is conventionally written as one word.
- 12. Match the subject Original: train oneself Suggested revision: train Why it matters: The reflexive pronoun does not agree with the preceding noun phrase in this construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- carefree reckless
- go way out of the ordinary take extraordinary risks
- the monetary reward monetary rewards
- it has been common practice among many sports professionals to go many professional athletes commonly go
- the extremes of the risk limits the limits of acceptable risk
- Below paragraphs The following paragraphs
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its direct organisation: it identifies money and fame as motivations, then offers several practical safety measures in clearly separated sections. The main limitation is that the explanation of motivations remains narrow and occasionally confused, while inaccurate collocations make some claims sound unnatural. Prioritise developing the reasons more convincingly and expressing them with precise, idiomatic vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed, with relevant reasons and a useful range of safety recommendations.
Develop the motivation analysis beyond financial rewards and fame, and clarify how each reason actually encourages participation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear question-based structure, and the sequence of recommendations is easy to follow.
Improve links within longer sentences so examples and contrasts connect smoothly without comma splices or abrupt shifts.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary and some ambitious phrasing, but several collocations are inaccurate or inappropriate.
Use natural terms such as dangerous sports, financial rewards, safety regulations, and trained supervision consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms, though errors with articles, agreement, pronouns, and sentence boundaries remain noticeable.
Check complex sentences for complete clause structure and match singular subjects consistently with articles, pronouns, and verbs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.