Discuss the reasons why people define happiness differently and how to obtain happiness?
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Sample Response
The feeling of happiness is a complexcomplicated emotion that is unique to each individual. We all interpret this sentiment differently due to the diversityvastness of our life experiences and the source of joy for a person might be very different from another person'shugely distinct from another person. In the following paragraphs, I will explore both questions in detailthe questions posed by the topic in detail.
We are all aware that contentment is what humans strive for in life because it is our nature. This generalisation overlooks the fact thatThis statement is incomplete without acknowledging that the meaning of happiness can be veryimmensely different and something enjoyable might be taxing for another person. Although there can be various reasons for these differencesthis characteristic, a key factor thata key factor, that is largelytremendously responsible for shaping someone’s personality is their upbringing and childhood circumstancesupbringing and the circumstances of their childhood. For instance, material possessions delight people who were raised, in well to do households, whereas individuals from modest backgrounds mightmodest backgrounds, might not be attracted to materialistic pleasures.
Furthermore, this trait in human nature greatly diversifies the sources of pleasurefacilitates the diversification of the sources of pleasure in a great way. Since the range of entertaining pursuits is so diversethe spectrum of pursuits that can be entertaining are so dissimilar, a definite path to being cheerful is hard to pinpoint. An individual’s nature and preferences significantly influence the activities that bring a person joyavenues which bring elation to a person. These preferences evolve over timeThese choices have always evolved with time and are also shaped by the life a person leadsdependent on the kind of life someone is leading. Presently, social status and financial freedom are invariably considered appealing attributes in society and thereby deemed gratifying.
To sum up, it is a widely known fact that humans enjoy being joyful. However, the path to finding a healthy source of joy can be difficult and requires experience and maturity. Nonetheless, it is necessary to understand that physical and mental well-being is a sound foundation for a fulfilling lifean honest approach to a fulfilling life.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, generally logical discussion and uses a broad vocabulary to explain why happiness varies among individuals. Its main limitation is that the second question is answered only vaguely: possible sources of happiness are named, but the process of attaining it is not developed with concrete explanation. Prioritise a distinct, fully supported section explaining practical ways people can achieve lasting happiness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, but the explanation of how happiness can be obtained remains general and underdeveloped.
Develop two or three practical routes to happiness with clear explanations or examples of how each one works.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct paragraphs, although some links between broad claims and supporting points are loose.
Make each paragraph's central claim explicit and connect every example directly to that claim.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, but several collocations sound inflated or unnatural.
Choose simpler, more precise combinations such as sources of fulfilment and materially comfortable households.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex structures successfully, while recurring comma and agreement errors reduce accuracy.
Review subject-verb agreement and remove commas that unnecessarily separate subjects, verbs, or restrictive clauses.