Discuss the reasons why people define happiness differently and how to obtain happiness?
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Sample Response
It is quite common that individuals hold different views on happinessdifferent view towards happiness. I think the perception of happiness varies dramatically from one person to another as a result of the combined effect of individual characteristics and environmental factors. These elements determinedecide the approaches people adoptadopted by people to obtain happiness.
It is unsurprisingIt’s not a surprising fact that people pursue different interests and have different goals to pursueobjectives to attain in a lifetime. Also, their objectives and interests depend on their age. An individual may have a passion for toys as a child, fashionable clothes as a teenager, a rewarding career as an adult and possibly the company of family members in old ageas an older adult. We can see that a person’s attitudes and concerns are subjectsubjected to change. For instance, following the latest fashion is appealing to young people such as purchasing trendy consumer products or changing a hairstyle. In contrast, older people are less concerned abouthardly bothered about what they wear or how they look.
In addition to these externalvisible factors, there are other factorssome other factors that affect a person’s perception of happiness. These intrinsic factors include one’s characteristics, pursuits and philosophies. For example, people often perceive the value of money differently. Some people sacrifice everything for wealth, whereas others place less importance on ittake it more lightly. They treasure family, friends, hobbies and their core values. It is also one of the reasons why people see events such as marriage, family reunion, a promotion, and so forth differently and also react differently to trouble or bad luck, for example, accidents, conflicts, divorce to name a few.
Because people are encouraged to achieve happinessattain their happiness, they must evaluate whether their goals are attainablewhether the objectives are attainable or not. High expectations for the future might lead only to increased stressbring nothing but increase levels of stress and a sense of disappointment. Setting a realistic goalreachable target is a recommended alternative. Another step to be taken is prioritizing aspectssetting prioritizing things in one’s life, such as money, health, growth, fame, power and relationshipsrelationship. It is almost impossible to achieve every goal they setattain all that are targeted. The secret is to identify the top priorities and direct one's energy towards themspend your energy on those.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response explains varied conceptions of happiness through age, personal priorities, and values, and it offers practical ways to pursue it. Development is uneven, however: the reasons receive much fuller treatment than the methods, while recurring awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. Expand the practical-method section with a developed example, then proofread noun forms, verb patterns, and word combinations for more natural expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered, with well-supported reasons for differing definitions of happiness but less fully developed advice on obtaining it.
Develop each proposed method with a clear explanation or example showing how attainable goals and prioritisation create happiness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from sources of differing perceptions to practical methods, with logical paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Give the final paragraph a more explicit internal sequence so the two recommendations and their rationale are easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary has sufficient range for the topic, but recurring awkward collocations such as attain happiness, reachable target, and attain all that are targeted reduce precision.
Build more natural word combinations, such as achieve happiness, realistic goal, and accomplish every objective.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates meaning clearly, although errors in agreement, articles, and verb patterns occur noticeably.
Proofread constructions such as different views and prioritising things, and avoid malformed combinations like setting prioritizing.