Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
These days, an increasing number of people have chosen to become parents later in their lives. A few explanations for this trend could be offered, as well as its positive and negative effects on society.
First of all, the trend of delayed parenthood could be attributed to two main reasons. To start with, people are attaching more weight to their professional lives rather than their personal ones. A considerable number of young adults nowadays spend the first years of their adulthood to lay a concrete foundation for their career and only start building a family once they have achieved certain professional milestones. Furthermore, many people are of the opinion that children are better raised in families with sound financial statuses. Such a family can mostly be found among older couples, who have spent years working and accumulating their wealth.
As to the impacts of delayed parenthood on society, I strongly believe that neither its advantages or disadvantages can outweigh the other. On the one hand, having older parents can bring many benefits for a child. Since the couple will probably have had a stable financial background, the child will likely to have proper education with less worries about loans and debts. Another advantage is that aged parents are more knowledgeable, meaning that the child can be reprimanded appropriately from their upbringings, which is a positive sign for an upright citizen. On the other hand, older mothers are more prone to grave health risks during pregnancy and their children are more exposed to innate diseases. It has been proven that women having kids after the age of thirty can be dangerous for both themselves and the babies, which is why this decision is not recommended by health staff.
By and large, people choose to bear children at older ages due to their high regards for their careers and the belief that a better financial state will be better for a child. Nevertheless, how this trend can impact society is both positive and negative.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use idiomatic phrasing Original: later in their lives Suggested revision: later in life Why it matters: The singular expression 'later in life' is the standard form for this general trend.
- 2. Correct the comparison Original: attaching more weight to their professional lives rather than their personal ones Suggested revision: attaching more importance to their professional lives than to their personal ones Why it matters: The comparative structure requires 'more ... than' rather than 'more ... rather than'.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: first years of their adulthood Suggested revision: early years of adulthood Why it matters: This is the more natural expression for the beginning of adulthood.
- 4. Use the gerund form Original: to lay a concrete foundation Suggested revision: laying a solid foundation Why it matters: After 'spend time', the activity takes a gerund, and 'solid foundation' is the natural collocation.
- 5. Use natural terminology Original: statuses Suggested revision: circumstances Why it matters: Financial circumstances is idiomatic when describing a family's economic position.
- 6. Use the right preposition Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Benefits to someone is the more natural construction when naming the recipient.
- 7. Correct the tense Original: will probably have had Suggested revision: will probably have Why it matters: The simple future is sufficient for the parents' likely financial situation.
- 8. Use precise terminology Original: a stable financial background Suggested revision: financial stability Why it matters: Financial stability directly describes the economic condition intended here.
- 9. Correct the verb pattern Original: will likely to have Suggested revision: will likely have Why it matters: The adverb 'likely' is followed directly by the base verb after 'will'.
- 10. Add the article Original: proper education Suggested revision: a proper education Why it matters: The singular countable noun 'education' needs an article in this construction.
- 11. Use fewer with plurals Original: less Suggested revision: fewer Why it matters: The countable plural noun 'worries' takes 'fewer', not 'less'.
- 12. Correct the risk collocation Original: are more prone to grave health risks Suggested revision: face greater health risks Why it matters: People face risks; describing them as prone to risks is an awkward collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- later in their lives later in life
- attaching more weight to their professional lives rather than their personal ones attaching more importance to their professional lives than to their personal ones
- first years of their adulthood early years of adulthood
- to lay a concrete foundation laying a solid foundation
- statuses circumstances
- for to
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear coverage of two plausible reasons for delayed parenthood, followed by a balanced consideration of benefits and risks. Its main weakness is recurrent awkward or inaccurate language that occasionally obscures points, especially the claim about parents reprimanding children through their upbringing. Prioritise precise collocations and grammatically complete comparative statements so the otherwise logical argument communicates its ideas more convincingly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions, gives a clear balanced position, and develops relevant reasons, advantages, and disadvantages.
State the no-outweighing position clearly in both the introduction and conclusion, and explain the advantage about parental experience more convincingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised and progresses clearly, although some linking is mechanical and the impacts paragraph is densely packed.
Separate the advantages and disadvantages more cleanly within the paragraph and use less formulaic transitions between points.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but several inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace awkward choices such as “sound financial statuses,” “aged parents,” “innate diseases,” and “high regards” with standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response shows a good range of complex structures, but recurring errors in verb patterns, comparison forms, and agreement remain noticeable.
Correct patterns such as “neither...nor,” “spend years laying,” and “will likely have,” then check singular-plural consistency throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.