Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Having babies later in age is regarded as a new trend of marriage, especially in these days when soon becoming adolescent parents might face plenty of troubles. It is easily seen that the financial burden is one of the reasons why many spouses tend to delay their childbirth because giving birth early forces them to tighten the budget. In this essay, I will lend more other detailed reasons and effects of this trend.
The fact that pregnancy has been more common in older women stemming from late-life marriage whose benefits are huge. Tying the knot early, in some cases, would cause constant quarrels about rights of child-rearing between young couples due to their immature thoughts on marital values. In contrast, delayed marriage may secure better conditions for children’s future. This would help singles have more time to seek a financially stable job and broaden behavioural experience before deciding to live with someone forever. Besides, high remarriage rate led by the rise of divorce in recent years partly contributes to late childbirth. The reason is that the lack of compatibility forces many couples to end their first love and marry again. Therefore, they may start having children after age 35.
As mentioned above, the benefits of late childbirth are undeniable, however, elderly parents, as well as a society also face threats that they can foresee. Indeed, raising kids at old age is more arduous than that at a young age, not only because their health will decline but also because their children are too little to self-manage. Moreover, having children when reaching over 35 can affect pregnancy due to ageing health. As a result, babies are not healthy enough or even die a premature death.
In conclusion, stable income and settled life make delayed marriage more appealing. The thing is we need to consider the pros and cons of this to decide what is right for a happy union.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrase Original: age Suggested revision: life Why it matters: The standard expression for postponing parenthood is 'later in life'.
- 2. Clarify the trend Original: a new trend of marriage Suggested revision: a new family-planning trend Why it matters: The trend concerns the timing of parenthood rather than marriage itself.
- 3. Use concise time phrase Original: especially in these days Suggested revision: especially nowadays Why it matters: 'Nowadays' is the natural adverb for a current trend.
- 4. Clarify intended meaning Original: soon becoming adolescent parents Suggested revision: becoming parents at a young age Why it matters: The original phrase incorrectly suggests that the parents themselves are adolescents in all cases.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: delay their childbirth Suggested revision: delay having children Why it matters: People normally 'delay having children' rather than 'delay their childbirth'.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: tighten the budget Suggested revision: live on a tighter budget Why it matters: This wording more naturally describes the financial constraint caused by early parenthood.
- 7. Use precise verb Original: lend more other detailed reasons Suggested revision: provide further reasons Why it matters: 'Lend' and 'more other' do not form a natural expression here.
- 8. Correct the noun phrase Original: rights of child-rearing Suggested revision: child-rearing responsibilities Why it matters: The disagreement described concerns responsibilities rather than rights.
- 9. Clarify the idea Original: thoughts on marital values Suggested revision: understanding of marriage Why it matters: This phrase expresses the intended lack of maturity more clearly.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: broaden behavioural experience Suggested revision: gain more life experience Why it matters: 'Behavioural experience' is not a natural collocation for general maturity.
- 11. Add the article Original: high remarriage rate Suggested revision: the high remarriage rate Why it matters: A singular countable noun phrase referring to a specific rate needs an article.
- 12. Clarify cause Original: led by the rise of divorce Suggested revision: caused by the rise in divorce Why it matters: 'Caused by' and 'a rise in' express this relationship naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- age life
- a new trend of marriage a new family-planning trend
- especially in these days especially nowadays
- soon becoming adolescent parents becoming parents at a young age
- delay their childbirth delay having children
- tighten the budget live on a tighter budget
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers several relevant reasons for delayed parenthood and considers meaningful disadvantages, while its paragraph sequence remains broadly clear. Its main limitation is that it never gives a definite answer to whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and some ideas are expressed imprecisely. The highest priority is to establish and maintain a clear comparative position, then support it with more precise explanations and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses reasons, benefits, and drawbacks, but it does not clearly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
State a definite comparative position in the introduction and conclusion, and make each body paragraph support that judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a generally logical paragraph sequence, though some links between ideas are unclear or mechanical.
Use clearer topic sentences and connect each explanation explicitly to the paragraph's central point.
Lexical Resource
There is a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but several awkward collocations and imprecise word choices weaken clarity.
Prioritise natural, precise combinations such as gaining life experience and health risks associated with later pregnancy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but recurring errors in sentence construction, agreement, and punctuation remain noticeable.
Check that every complex sentence has a complete main clause and that subjects, verbs, and punctuation are accurately controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.