Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, our life improved by technology developments. Although some people think that communication through computers and mobile phones increased and has a detrimental effect on how young generation develop their skills in reading and writing, others think that this impact of technology is not a disadvantage. I strongly belive that young people reading and writing skills have suffered due to increasing usage of computers and mobile phones. To begin with, technology increases day by day and we have to be aware of what is new and implement it on our everyday life. It is certainly known that communication through online platforms it is more easier than the usual one and currently it is vital to have at least one tool like mobile phone or computer if someone wants to have an online conversation with somebody else. A survey was conducted on young subjects in 2007, in the United Kingdom and almost 90% of their respondents agreed with the fact that communication using devices is easier and more effective than using traditional ways and they looked more willing to use a device, like a digital book rather than have similar reading like in the previous generations. To add more, there are many situations which provide that communication using only devices can be deficitary and it involves a lot of disadvantages. First and foremost, young generation can not experience the biggest pleasure of reading a new book, feeling the fragrance of their pages while sitting at the desk. Also, from the primary school, children learn how to effectively write and this situation needs improvement every day, because currently during the classes, many children get distracted and try to avoid what is vital for a society: to know how to correctly write. What is more, it has been proven that writing on a device decrease the rate of concentration in left emisphere of the brain and ought to this issue, many health problems can appear and develop. Nevertheless, technology development is an insurmontable situation that can not be stopped. During the years 2010-2020, a study was made using foreign students from my University and the results shown that those who used devices like mobile phones or computers in order to communicate had a lower rate of learning our mother tongue than others who concentrated on traditional books. Furthermore, a long period of time looking at blue screens affected the visual content and therefore most of them needed to see an Ophtalmologist. To conclude, it is evident that communication is the most striking feature in our everyday life and both traditional and digital paths can be used, but younger generation needs to be aware of the disadvantages of using most of the time only devices like computers and mobile phones, because the drawbacks can outweigh more than the positive effects.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix tense and number Original: our life improved by technology developments Suggested revision: our lives have improved through technological developments Why it matters: The plural noun, present-perfect tense, and preposition correctly express continuing change.
- 2. Correct spelling Original: belive Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: 'Believe' is misspelled.
- 3. Add possessive form Original: people Suggested revision: people's Why it matters: The skills belong to young people, so a possessive form is required.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: increasing usage Suggested revision: the increased use Why it matters: 'The increased use' is the more idiomatic noun phrase in this context.
- 5. Fix verb and preposition Original: implement it on our everyday life Suggested revision: integrate it into our everyday lives Why it matters: People integrate technology into their lives rather than implement it on a life.
- 6. Remove double subject Original: communication through online platforms it is more easier Suggested revision: communication through online platforms is easier Why it matters: The clause has an unnecessary pronoun and an incorrect double comparative.
- 7. Add an article Original: tool like mobile phone or computer Suggested revision: tool like a mobile phone or computer Why it matters: The singular count noun 'mobile phone' requires an article.
- 8. Use a clear linker Original: To add more Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: This standard additive linker connects the next point more clearly.
- 9. Choose the right verb Original: provide Suggested revision: show Why it matters: Situations can show that something is true, but they do not 'provide that' it is true.
- 10. Replace nonstandard wording Original: deficitary Suggested revision: inadequate Why it matters: 'Deficitary' is not standard English in this context.
- 11. Fix noun phrase Original: young generation can not Suggested revision: young people cannot Why it matters: 'Young generation' needs an article, while 'young people' is a natural alternative.
- 12. Match the singular noun Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the singular noun 'book'.
Suggested Rewrites
- our life improved by technology developments our lives have improved through technological developments
- belive believe
- people people's
- increasing usage the increased use
- implement it on our everyday life integrate it into our everyday lives
- communication through online platforms it is more easier communication through online platforms is easier
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers several examples of how device use might affect younger people. However, much of the support is loosely connected to reading and writing skills, and frequent grammatical and lexical errors combine with the absence of paragraphing to weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to organize two directly relevant body arguments into separate paragraphs and explain each with accurate, focused language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear opinion and addresses the topic, but several examples concern convenience, eyesight, or general health rather than directly developing effects on reading and writing skills.
Select two directly relevant effects on literacy and explain the causal link between device-based communication and each effect with credible support.
Coherence and Cohesion
A broad line of argument can be followed, but the single-block presentation, lengthy sentences, and sometimes mechanical linking weaken progression.
Divide the response into a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, using each linking phrase only where its logical relationship is exact.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad topic vocabulary, but frequent spelling, word-choice, and collocation errors often make the expression unnatural.
Prioritize accurate common expressions for technology and literacy, and verify the spelling and meaning of less familiar words before using them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors with agreement, articles, comparisons, prepositions, and sentence boundaries reduce control and sometimes strain readability.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then check subject-verb agreement and article use before combining ideas into more complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.