Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is often said that the Internet's creation in the nineteenth made easier the way in which people could learn, work and study. The use of computers and mobile phones was seen at first as a democratization of knowledge, culture, and books. However, I think that this primary ideology was totally wrong following the side effects and trajectory and use of these devices. Indeed. I do think that computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative effect on people's reading and writing skills, especially for young people.
First, young people have been raised with mobiles and computers. The problem is that most of the content shared on computers and mobile phones, especially because of the use of social, are videos, images, and emoticons. For example, to get informed of the news, people used to communicate with others, write letters to people who were informed of the situation, or read newspapers before the Internet was created. Today, most -if not all young people are being informed by watching videos on the Internet and socials. As a result, we can attest that young people are getting used to a virtual world made of videos and images.
But not only are newspapers concerned, but also all kinds of information. Indeed, when young people, especially students, needed to find information for a school project they were confronted with what a lot of young people are "reluctant to" today: opening a book, an encyclopedia. Indeed, many young people are being disinterested in books as computers and mobiles are making on-web research easier and faster. Young people are, as a result, reading less and hoping to find quickly a piece of information instead of reading an entire article about it. For example, who reads an entire book about a country to communicate with someone from another country when they can just find a short article about the culture they are trying to know better?
Nevertheless, writing skills are also strictly damaged by computers and mobiles. Because we are more connected to people thanks to computers and mobiles, we increase the process of talking with everyone, everywhere, the fastest as it can be. Before, thanks to the use of letters, people had time to think about what they would write and how they would like their text to be perfectly spelled and well written. Not only letters but also phone calls would help people develop their writing skills as you could not use abbreviations and slang as people do every day by texting. A single image-a yellow face called a smiley- can replace dozens of words if not more. People are developing slang, image, videos, and GIF language instead of writing what they feel, think, and want to say in a text.
Also, vocal messages become a threat to reading and writing as these two skills are becoming useless in computers and mobile communication. In addition, creating a technology through which users of these devices are enabled to dictate a sentence that the mobile will write in a text makes people even more unskilled in writing and reading.
To conclude, the prominent use of mobiles and computers for communication has numerous negative effects on young people's writing and reading skills. Indeed, it keeps them away from reading and especially writing because of vocal messages and the creation of slang. Communication becomes a way for people to tell what they have to say without thinking about what they are writing and saying.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: seen at first Suggested revision: initially seen Why it matters: The revision expresses the timing more concisely.
- 2. Clarify what expanded Original: a democratization of knowledge, culture, and books Suggested revision: a democratization of access to knowledge, culture, and books Why it matters: Access can be democratized, whereas knowledge, culture, and books themselves are not democratized here.
- 3. Name social media Original: especially because of the use of social Suggested revision: especially through social media Why it matters: 'The use of social' is incomplete and does not name the intended medium.
- 4. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: are videos, images, and emoticons Suggested revision: consists of videos, images, and emoticons Why it matters: The singular subject 'content' requires a singular verb.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: get informed of the news Suggested revision: learn about the news Why it matters: English speakers normally 'learn about' or 'get' the news.
- 6. Punctuate the aside Original: most -if not all young people Suggested revision: most, if not all, young people Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase should be enclosed by commas rather than introduced by a hyphen.
- 7. Use the standard noun Original: socials Suggested revision: social media Why it matters: 'Social media' is the standard term in this context.
- 8. Avoid unsupported authority Original: we can attest that Suggested revision: this suggests that Why it matters: The revision links the inference to the preceding example without implying formal verification.
- 9. Separate the clauses Original: school project they were Suggested revision: school project, they were Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory dependent clause.
- 10. Complete the expression Original: what a lot of young people are "reluctant to" today Suggested revision: an activity that many young people are reluctant to undertake today Why it matters: 'Reluctant to' requires a following action, and the revision supplies it clearly.
- 11. Join the alternatives Original: opening a book, an encyclopedia Suggested revision: opening a book or an encyclopedia Why it matters: The two alternatives need a coordinating conjunction rather than a comma.
- 12. Fix the verb form Original: are being disinterested in books Suggested revision: are becoming less interested in books Why it matters: 'Being disinterested' does not express the intended change over time.
Suggested Rewrites
- seen at first initially seen
- a democratization of knowledge, culture, and books a democratization of access to knowledge, culture, and books
- especially because of the use of social especially through social media
- are videos, images, and emoticons consists of videos, images, and emoticons
- get informed of the news learn about the news
- most -if not all young people most, if not all, young people
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and gives relevant explanations for how digital communication may reduce both reading and writing practice. Its main limitation is loss of precision: several points are repetitive or questionable, and frequent unnatural collocations and awkward sentence structures weaken otherwise clear meaning. The priority is to condense the argument, select stronger evidence, and revise phrasing for accurate, natural English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees and develops relevant effects on both reading and writing, though some supporting claims are repetitive or logically weak.
Retain the strongest cause-and-effect examples and ensure each one directly demonstrates damage to the target skills.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear thematic paragraphs and an identifiable progression, but repetition and awkward linking make the argument longer and less controlled than necessary.
Remove repeated claims and use one clear topic sentence and one developed line of reasoning in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss the topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as 'strictly damaged,' 'use of social,' and 'on-web research' with standard academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but recurring errors in sentence construction, agreement, punctuation, and phrasing remain noticeable despite generally clear meaning.
Edit complex sentences into cleaner clause structures and check subject-verb agreement and punctuation systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.