Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is often said that the Internet's creation in the nineteenth made easier the way in which people could learn, work and study. The use of computers and mobile phones was seen at first as a democratization of knowledge, culture, and books. However, I think that this primary ideology was totally wrong following the side effects and trajectory and use of these devices. Indeed. I do think that computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative effect on people's reading and writing skills, especially for young people.
First, young people have been raised with mobiles and computers. The problem is that most of the content shared on computers and mobile phones, especially because of the use of social, are videos, images, and emoticons. For example, to get informed of the news, people used to communicate with others, write letters to people who were informed of the situation, or read newspapers before the Internet was created. Today, most -if not all young people are being informed by watching videos on the Internet and socials. As a result, we can attest that young people are getting used to a virtual world made of videos and images.
But not only are newspapers concerned, but also all kinds of information. Indeed, when young people, especially students, needed to find information for a school project they were confronted with what a lot of young people are "reluctant to" today: opening a book, an encyclopedia. Indeed, many young people are being disinterested in books as computers and mobiles are making on-web research easier and faster. Young people are, as a result, reading less and hoping to find quickly a piece of information instead of reading an entire article about it. For example, who reads an entire book about a country to communicate with someone from another country when they can just find a short article about the culture they are trying to know better?
Nevertheless, writing skills are also strictly damaged by computers and mobiles. Because we are more connected to people thanks to computers and mobiles, we increase the process of talking with everyone, everywhere, the fastest as it can be. Before, thanks to the use of letters, people had time to think about what they would write and how they would like their text to be perfectly spelled and well written. Not only letters but also phone calls would help people develop their writing skills as you could not use abbreviations and slang as people do every day by texting. A single image-a yellow face called a smiley- can replace dozens of words if not more. People are developing slang, image, videos, and GIF language instead of writing what they feel, think, and want to say in a text.
Also, vocal messages become a threat to reading and writing as these two skills are becoming useless in computers and mobile communication. In addition, creating a technology through which users of these devices are enabled to dictate a sentence that the mobile will write in a text makes people even more unskilled in writing and reading.
To conclude, the prominent use of mobiles and computers for communication has numerous negative effects on young people's writing and reading skills. Indeed, it keeps them away from reading and especially writing because of vocal messages and the creation of slang. Communication becomes a way for people to tell what they have to say without thinking about what they are writing and saying.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use noun phrase Original: Internet's creation Suggested revision: creation of the Internet Why it matters: The possessive construction is unnatural for describing the invention of a technology.
- 2. Fix word order Original: made easier the way in which people could learn Suggested revision: made it easier for people to learn Why it matters: The adjective needs a dummy object before the infinitive phrase.
- 3. Choose precise noun Original: primary ideology Suggested revision: initial belief Why it matters: Ideology does not accurately describe the earlier expectation about these devices.
- 4. Clarify the reason Original: following the side effects and trajectory and use of these devices Suggested revision: given the side effects and the ways these devices have been used Why it matters: The original sequence of abstract nouns is unclear and does not express the reason naturally.
- 5. Use natural preposition Original: for Suggested revision: among Why it matters: Among is the more natural preposition when referring to effects within a group.
- 6. Name social media Original: because of the use of social Suggested revision: because of social media use Why it matters: Social cannot function alone as a noun meaning social-media platforms here.
- 7. Match singular subject Original: are videos, images, and emoticons Suggested revision: consists of videos, images, and emoticons Why it matters: The singular head noun content requires a singular verb construction.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: get informed of the news Suggested revision: learn about the news Why it matters: Learn about the news is the natural expression for obtaining news information.
- 9. Set off interruption Original: most -if not all young people Suggested revision: most—if not all—young people Why it matters: The interrupting phrase needs matching punctuation on both sides.
- 10. Use standard term Original: the Internet and socials Suggested revision: the Internet and social media Why it matters: Socials is too informal and imprecise in this academic context.
- 11. Avoid overstating evidence Original: we can attest that Suggested revision: this suggests that Why it matters: Attest implies stronger proof than the preceding observation provides.
- 12. Complete the infinitive Original: what a lot of young people are "reluctant to" today Suggested revision: what many young people are reluctant to do today Why it matters: The infinitive needs do to connect it to the following activity.
Suggested Rewrites
- Internet's creation creation of the Internet
- made easier the way in which people could learn made it easier for people to learn
- primary ideology initial belief
- following the side effects and trajectory and use of these devices given the side effects and the ways these devices have been used
- for among
- because of the use of social because of social media use
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and develops separate, relevant arguments about the effects on reading and writing. Its main limitation is that several points are repetitive or supported by questionable generalisations, while frequent awkward collocations and sentence-level errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to select fewer, stronger ideas and explain each with accurate evidence in more controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is sustained and supported with relevant ideas about reduced reading and informal digital writing, although some support is repetitive or questionable.
Develop fewer arguments with more credible, specific examples and avoid broad claims about how all young people consume information.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from reading to writing and uses clear paragraphing, but repetition and occasionally awkward transitions weaken cohesion.
Consolidate overlapping points and use referencing and transitions more selectively to create a tighter line of argument.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, including vocabulary about digital communication, but recurring collocation and word-choice problems reduce precision.
Replace unnatural phrases such as descriptions of damage, online research, and voice messages with standard academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, though frequent errors in articles, agreement, punctuation, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Prioritise accurate sentence boundaries and controlled complex sentences, then proofread systematically for articles and subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.