In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
The concept that all cars will be driverless has been gaining traction lately as advancements in technology have made it increasingly feasible and demonstrations have already been successful. The idea of a future where only passengers occupy such vehicles is one that has both benefits and drawbacks. However, in my opinion, the benefits of driverless vehicles outweigh the potential disadvantages.
One of the main drawbacks of driverless cars is the potential loss of jobs for millions of drivers. This is particularly concerning in industries, such as trucking, taxi service and ride-sharing, where driving is the primary occupation. Another major shortcoming of fully automated vehicles is the potential for hackers to gain control of the vehicle and cause mayhem. This could be a significant security concern, as the technology is still in its infancy, and vulnerabilities may not yet have been identified.
On the other hand, several major advantages of driverless vehicles make them an attractive option for the future. To begin with, driverless automobiles are expected to remarkably reduce the number of road accidents caused by human error, as the vehicles are controlled by advanced software and sensors that are less prone to mistakes. Additionally, automated vehicles have the potential to improve traffic flow and reduce congestion, as they can communicate with one another and adapt to changing traffic conditions in real-time. Furthermore, driverless vehicles could also have positive impacts on the environment as they will reduce fuel consumption and emissions, for example.
In conclusion, while there could be some disadvantages to the notion of driverless conveyances, the advantages of such vehicles far outweigh the drawbacks. The fewer road accidents, improved traffic conditions, and environmental benefits that driverless vehicles will bring us, make them an appealing choice for the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove stray comma Original: industries, such as Suggested revision: industries such as Why it matters: No comma should separate the noun from the examples introduced by 'such as'.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: service Suggested revision: services Why it matters: The plural form fits this list of employment sectors more naturally.
- 3. Use general article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The indefinite article is more appropriate when referring to any automated vehicle.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: remarkably Suggested revision: significantly Why it matters: 'Significantly reduce' is the natural collocation for a large decrease in accidents.
- 5. Remove adverbial hyphen Original: in real-time Suggested revision: in real time Why it matters: The phrase is not hyphenated when it functions adverbially after the verb.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: could also have positive impacts Suggested revision: could have a positive impact Why it matters: The singular collocation is more natural and avoids redundancy with 'Furthermore'.
- 7. Keep modality consistent Original: will Suggested revision: could Why it matters: 'Could' maintains the cautious prediction used earlier in the same sentence.
- 8. Use natural wording Original: notion of driverless conveyances Suggested revision: prospect of driverless vehicles Why it matters: This phrasing is clearer and less artificially formal in the context.
- 9. Remove subject comma Original: will bring us, make Suggested revision: will bring us make Why it matters: A comma must not separate the complete subject phrase from its verb 'make'.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: The concept that all cars will be driverless has been gaining traction lately as advancements in technology have made it increasingly feasible and demonstrations have already been successful. Suggested revision: The concept of driverless transport has gained traction as technological advances have made it increasingly feasible and successful demonstrations have already taken place. Why it matters: The revision gives the pronoun a clear referent and expresses the two linked developments more smoothly.
Suggested Rewrites
- industries, such as industries such as
- service services
- the a
- remarkably significantly
- in real-time in real time
- could also have positive impacts could have a positive impact
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent judgment and supports it with a well-organised comparison of credible disadvantages and several distinct benefits. Its main limitation is that some advantages, particularly the environmental claim, are asserted rather than fully explained, while a few expressions are slightly awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen the causal support for each major benefit and use more exact collocations throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear position and relevant consideration of both benefits and drawbacks.
Develop the environmental advantage with a more explicit causal explanation or concrete illustration.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the comparison effectively.
Make the internal progression of the advantages paragraph even smoother by linking each benefit more explicitly to the central judgment.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary conveys the argument flexibly, with only occasional awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as 'remarkably reduce' and choose consistently natural collocations for greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, with only rare punctuation or agreement slips.
Proofread long sentences for unnecessary commas, especially between a subject phrase and its verb.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.