In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Driverless cars, thanks to the phenomenal development of technology, are no longer fiction, but a reality, and it is expected that most vehicles will be autonomous in the future. Despite both benefits and demerits, the writer of this essay does think that the advantages of driverless vehicles do not outweigh the disadvantages.
One of the major advantages of driverless vehicles is that they reduce the number of accidents on the road. Such cars provide better traffic efficiency since the driverless vehicles can travel efficiently at an optimized and safe distance from each other by communicating among themselves in real-time, on the road, and by telling which routes to take. It reduces accidents and casualties to a great extent.
However, the systems or the technologies, used to operate driverless vehicles, can malfunction or stop working at any time, without any prior notice. And, if that happens, an autonomous vehicle could actually put the passengers in more danger than if a human driver were driving it. Besides, self-driving cars lack the ability to make judgments among multiple unfavourable scenarios and outcomes. For example, let’s say that a self-driving car had to face a situation with only two possible options: one is to veer to the left and strike a pedestrian, and the other one is to turn to the right and hit a tree, potentially injuring the passengers inside the vehicle. Now, since both options are undesirable, which option would the driverless car choose? The Moral Machine, developed by a group at MIT in the USA, is seeking to address this critical issue by collecting data on real-life people’s decisions, but the data collected, so far, shows broad differences amongst different groups of people, making it very difficult to programme any definitive answer for autonomous cars. Thus autonomous cars are good to have but are not great to ride in!
So, based on the discussion above, we can fairly conclude that the shortcomings of driverless automobiles outweigh their possible benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: phenomenal development of technology Suggested revision: rapid technological development Why it matters: This is a more natural and concise collocation for technological progress.
- 2. Use precise term Original: efficiency Suggested revision: flow Why it matters: 'Traffic flow' more precisely describes how smoothly vehicles move on roads.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: since the driverless vehicles Suggested revision: since driverless vehicles Why it matters: The noun phrase refers to driverless vehicles in general, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 4. Improve adjective choice Original: optimized and safe distance Suggested revision: safe and optimal distance Why it matters: 'Optimal' is the natural adjective before a noun, while 'optimized' usually describes something that has been adjusted.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: communicating among themselves Suggested revision: communicating with one another Why it matters: The revision is more idiomatic for reciprocal communication between vehicles.
- 6. Clarify reference Original: It Suggested revision: This Why it matters: 'This' clearly refers to the preceding description of coordinated vehicle movement.
- 7. Remove intrusive commas Original: the systems or the technologies, used to operate driverless vehicles, Suggested revision: the systems or technologies used to operate driverless vehicles Why it matters: The defining phrase 'used to operate driverless vehicles' should not be separated from its noun by commas.
- 8. Use precise collocation Original: make judgments among multiple unfavourable scenarios and outcomes Suggested revision: choose among multiple unfavourable options Why it matters: The revision expresses the act of selecting between undesirable alternatives more precisely.
- 9. Fix modifier order Original: real-life people’s decisions Suggested revision: people’s real-life decisions Why it matters: 'Real-life' logically modifies the decisions rather than the people.
- 10. Remove unnecessary commas Original: the data collected, so far, Suggested revision: the data collected so far Why it matters: The short adverbial phrase 'so far' does not require commas here.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Thus autonomous cars are good to have but are not great to ride in! Suggested revision: Thus, autonomous cars may be useful, but riding in them can involve serious risks. Why it matters: The revision preserves the contrast while using a more formal academic tone.
- 12. Separate two disadvantages Suggested revision: Split the paragraph when the focus shifts from technical malfunction to ethical decision-making, keeping the example with the second point. Why it matters: Separating the two distinct disadvantages would make the progression easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- phenomenal development of technology rapid technological development
- efficiency flow
- since the driverless vehicles since driverless vehicles
- optimized and safe distance safe and optimal distance
- communicating among themselves communicating with one another
- It This
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay maintains a clear position and develops its case through a relevant safety benefit and a detailed technological and ethical counterargument. Its main weakness is that some sentences are over-punctuated or awkwardly phrased, which slightly reduces fluency; prioritise cleaner clause boundaries and more natural collocations while preserving the strong example-based development throughout the response.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly answers the comparison question, sustains a clear position, and develops both the safety benefit and the stronger malfunction and ethical concerns.
Strengthen the weighing by explicitly comparing the likelihood and scale of the benefit against the two disadvantages before concluding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a focused advantage, a fuller counterargument and a consistent conclusion, with clear referencing and linking.
Use a less conversational transition than the rhetorical question and closing exclamation to preserve an even academic flow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and generally precise, with effective items such as autonomous, malfunction and casualties, though several collocations are awkward.
Prefer natural combinations such as rapid technological development, judge between outcomes, and programme a definitive response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures accurately enough for effortless understanding, despite recurring unnecessary commas and a few loose references.
Remove commas around defining phrases and adverbials where they interrupt the subject-verb or verb-complement relationship.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.