Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The meaning of happiness is different for each persondifferent to people, and thus some people argue that economic prosperity has a direct influence on happiness, while others claim that other factorsdifferent other factors contribute to achievingattaining happiness. This essay will explore both perspectives and argue that happiness depends on a range of factorsa number of things rather than income alonejust the money someone has.
The proponents of a link between wealth and happinessproponents of monetary success for happiness say that people with high incomespeople with good earnings have more prosperous lives than ordinary citizens. They keep arguing that affluent peoplethe financially affluent can fulfil their desiresdesire and buy things that give them pleasure. For instance, when people buy a dream car or go on a luxury vacation, it gives them a happy sensation. They can also help others by giving money to charities or people in needhelp people and give money to charity or the poor - which can bringwhich is proven to bring self-worthimportance and a sense of satisfaction.
However, another group of people say that money alone can not bring happiness, and we need a combination of different things to be happy in life. First, health is a key componenta pivotal constituent of a happy life. This is not surprising that a healthy person - with or without money, enjoys a pleasant lifestyle and has a tendency to participate in diverse activities that could be a source of joy. Additionally, healthy relationshipswholesome relations with family, friends and their immediate social circleimmediate social circle make people happier and more relaxed. This is why many poor, despite their lack of money, sayexpress that they are happy while many wealthy people sufferwhen many rich suffer from depression and sadness. Family and social relationships therefore play an important role in happinessFamily and social relations play an important role here.
To conclude, I would like to say that the role of economic success is important to some extent for achieving happiness but other factors have more significant consideration in this regard. This is why not all rich are happy while many poor have a happy life.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay clearly discusses both views and maintains a well-defined opinion, using relevant examples and an easy-to-follow structure. Its main weakness is recurrent imprecision in vocabulary and grammar, which makes several otherwise sound points awkward; the highest-priority improvement is to use natural collocations and control articles, agreement, and clause structure more consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are addressed, a clear opinion is sustained, and the main ideas receive relevant explanation and examples.
Deepen the comparison by explaining more precisely why health and relationships outweigh financial comfort in the writer's view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised, with clear paragraph purposes and generally effective progression between contrasting views.
Reduce repeated restatement near the end of the third paragraph and make the final comparison more concise.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, but several collocations and word choices are unnatural or imprecise.
Use more natural expressions for happiness and wealth, avoiding phrases such as 'happy sensation' and 'significant consideration'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates ideas clearly, though article, agreement, and clause-construction errors recur.
Practise accurate noun phrases and introductory clauses, especially structures such as 'It is unsurprising that' and 'many wealthy people'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.