Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people believe that an additional increase in national wealththe additional increase in the national wealth of an affluent country does not necessarily lead to greater satisfactionincreased satisfaction and happiness among citizens. I completely agree with this opinion because individuals cannot derive more satisfaction from increased wealth due to hedonic adaptation and income inequalitydisparity.
To begin with, additional economic growth infor an already rich country does not make citizens happier because of the hedonic treadmill. Humans tend to adapt to their new circumstances over time. That is to say that as people become richer, they are likely to adjust their desires and expectations accordingly. What was once deemed a luxurydeemed luxury may turn into a new baseline, leadingdriving to a perpetual pursuit of even more material possessions. This phenomenon is termedtermed as the hedonic treadmill. By way of illustration, a person who movesshifts into a larger apartment may initially be more satisfied, but that satisfaction may gradually decrease as he adapts to his new standard of living and wants to seek further improvementspursue further development.
Likewise, economic growth inby a nation cannot make individuals happier as there is always a huge income disparity. In an affluent society, income inequality may prevail, and individuals are likely to compare their status and wealth to those who are wealthier, leading to dissatisfaction. In simple words, if there are considerable disparities in wealth and status within societywithin the society, then people in the lower socioeconomic tier may feel dissatisfied despite overall economic growth. A case in point is the Occupy Wall Street movement in the United States, a country with the most robust economy. In 2011, the movement emerged out of concern for growing income inequality.
In conclusion, this essay finds that beyond a particular point, the additional economic wealth cannot lead to a proportional increase in individuals’ contentment due to the hedonic treadmill and income inequality.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response maintains a clear position and develops two distinct, relevant explanations with effective conceptual and real-world support. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in word combinations and examples, especially where economic inequality is stated too absolutely or linked only indirectly to satisfaction. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify these claims and explain the causal connection between national growth, unequal gains, and citizens’ contentment more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the extent question, sustains a clear position, and develops two relevant reasons with supporting examples.
Strengthen the second argument by showing more explicitly how unequal distribution of additional wealth prevents any rise in overall satisfaction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is clearly sequenced, paragraphs have distinct purposes, and cohesive devices support smooth progression throughout.
Reduce explanatory signposts such as "In simple words" where the logical relationship is already clear from the surrounding sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and topic-appropriate, but several awkward or overly absolute combinations reduce precision despite consistently clear meaning.
Replace phrases such as "driving to a perpetual pursuit," "termed as," and "shifts into" with more natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and handled with strong control, with only isolated minor article or phrasing errors.
Check article use in noun phrases such as "deemed a luxury" to remove the few remaining local inaccuracies.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.