Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Whether economic growth in a well-off country would increase its citizens’ satisfaction has become a topic of discussion. In my opinion, I agree that while there is a limit to what money can bring, an increase in a country’s economic situation would always delight the people.
First, economic wealth is only a part of life satisfaction, therefore, it can only please people to an extent. From my point of view, there is a limitation of material possessions that a person could hoard. Most people only need a roof over their head, food and money that are used to pay for other necessities. Therefore, once these needs are fulfilled, a surplus of other properties is no longer desirable. Additionally, a person’s satisfaction is not made of economic wealth alone but also of their well-being and relationships. To be more specific, a person could be the richest, yet if he were to suffer from a prolonged illness, he would not achieve true satisfaction.
On the other hand, I believe that however prosperous a country is, additional economic growth would always appease its citizens. There are aspects that only a nation’s monetary reserve can solve, thus, the larger the reserve becomes, the more problems it can tackle. Take road infrastructure for example, even if a person drives the most expensive car but the road is bumpy, he would not be able to fully enjoy the experience. In these cases, a country’s economic wealth is important since more money equals better infrastructure. Furthermore, an abundance of possessions will lead to advancements in technology and healthcare. These in turn will benefit its citizens beyond materialistic satisfaction.
In conclusion, although people require more than wealth to be appeased, I strongly support the view that economic prosperity will result in increased satisfaction of a nation’s citizens.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant stance Original: In my opinion, I agree Suggested revision: I agree Why it matters: The two stance markers repeat the same function.
- 2. Use precise economic term Original: situation Suggested revision: prosperity Why it matters: Prosperity more precisely expresses an increase in a rich country's wealth.
- 3. Match the task language Original: delight the people Suggested revision: increase citizens' satisfaction Why it matters: This phrase states the intended effect more precisely and formally.
- 4. Correct possession term Original: a surplus of other properties Suggested revision: additional possessions Why it matters: Properties usually refers to real estate, whereas possessions conveys material goods generally.
- 5. Use parallel construction Original: is not made of economic wealth alone but also of Suggested revision: depends not only on economic wealth but also on Why it matters: The not only...but also structure requires parallel prepositions and a natural governing verb.
- 6. Correct verb meaning Original: appease its citizens Suggested revision: increase its citizens' satisfaction Why it matters: Appease means pacify, which does not accurately express greater life satisfaction.
- 7. Match single example Original: In these cases Suggested revision: In this case Why it matters: The connector should refer to the single road-infrastructure example just given.
- 8. Avoid absolute equation Original: equals better infrastructure Suggested revision: can fund better infrastructure Why it matters: Can fund expresses the proposed relationship more accurately than a direct equation.
- 9. Clarify national resources Original: an abundance of possessions Suggested revision: an abundance of financial resources Why it matters: Financial resources, rather than possessions, can logically support technology and healthcare.
- 10. Use concise opening Original: has become a topic of discussion Suggested revision: is widely debated Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more directly and avoids a generic opening phrase.
- 11. Use precise verb Original: bring Suggested revision: provide Why it matters: Provide is more precise and formal when referring to the benefits of wealth.
- 12. Fix modifier and agreement Original: only need a roof over their head Suggested revision: need only a roof over their heads Why it matters: Only belongs next to the limited list, and heads agrees with the plural reference.
Suggested Rewrites
- In my opinion, I agree I agree
- situation prosperity
- delight the people increase citizens' satisfaction
- a surplus of other properties additional possessions
- is not made of economic wealth alone but also of depends not only on economic wealth but also on
- appease its citizens increase its citizens' satisfaction
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is well organized and develops a nuanced argument that additional national wealth can still improve satisfaction through infrastructure, healthcare, and technology. The main weakness is occasional imprecision in both the stated position and vocabulary, including language that equates national reserves with citizens' possessions. The highest-priority improvement is to frame the disagreement consistently and distinguish public economic resources from individual material wealth throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear overall disagreement, examines the limits of material satisfaction, and develops relevant reasons why further wealth may still benefit citizens.
State the degree of disagreement without the contradictory opening phrase and keep every example explicitly tied to additional wealth in an already rich country.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two well-focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Refine the transitions within the second body paragraph so the move from infrastructure to technology and healthcare feels more tightly integrated.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, though several choices such as appease, properties, and abundance of possessions are imprecise or unnatural.
Choose terms that distinguish personal assets, government revenue, and national prosperity more precisely, and avoid forcing synonyms for satisfaction.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only occasional punctuation and construction issues that do not impede meaning.
Polish comma use around linking expressions and avoid mixed constructions such as even if followed by but.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.