What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? Give some examples for and against according to your knowledge.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The average lifespansurvival period of the individuals has increased in recent yearsin the recent time. Some people believe that this trend has positive effects while others disagree with this viewrefute this claim. In this essay, both viewpointsboth the viewpoints will be critiqued before reaching a reasoned conclusion.
On the one hand, there are groups of people who consider long life beneficial toconsider long life has benefits on the individuals and the society. The main reason for believing this is that the society is able to utilise the experience of the oldermatured people for the country's economic growthgrowth of the economy of the country. Furthermore, this group of grown-ups can help the young people to maketake mature decisions in their personal and professional livespersonal as well as professional life. Thus, the positive implications of increase in people's lifespansrising in the life span of the people on individuals and societythe masses and the society are clear.
On the other hand, some consider the longer human lifespansextended life of the humans can have numerous disadvantages. One main drawback will be the increaseswelling in the world's population since the death rate will declinedeath rate will be declined. As a consequence of this, the pressure on local resources will increasepressure on the local resources will be increased and still some people will not be able to receive the required resources. In addition, with the increase in the size of the elderly populationnumbers of the aged population, there will also increase in the responsibilities of the young generation and thereby, affect their career and family life. Therefore, the negative impacts of the increased life period of the people are difficult to debunk.
After analysing both the views, it is felt that for the well-being of the individuals and the society, the life span should not be increased beyond a certain limit.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is clearly organised and offers relevant benefits and drawbacks of longer lives, including experience sharing, pressure on resources, and greater responsibilities for younger people. However, it gives limited attention to effects on the long-lived individual, relies on broad claims rather than concrete examples, and contains frequent awkward or inaccurate structures. The highest priority is to address both the individual and society directly with specific, well-explained examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant positive and negative effects are discussed, but coverage of the long-lived individual is limited and examples remain general.
Develop separate, concrete effects on older individuals and on society, supported by specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear progression with focused paragraphs, although some linking is formulaic and repetitive.
Replace stock concluding linkers with precise connections that show how each example supports the paragraph claim.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but awkward collocations and repetitive phrasing reduce accuracy.
Use more natural expressions for longevity, older people, population growth, and resource pressure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are attempted and meaning is generally clear, but agreement, article, and clause-structure errors recur.
Correct verb patterns and passive forms, particularly after consider and in descriptions of demographic change.