Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Subsidized gym or sports club membership is often offered by employers as a way to improve the health of their staff, and as a result, their productivity. While some employers think it will transform their employees to be more healthy and productive, others tend to disagree. This essay explores both perspectives. However, in my opinion, the benefits of such gym membership are often overstated and bring no long-term benefits despite being costly.
On the one hand, many employees believe that offering subsidised membership to gyms and sports centres to their employees will encourage many of them to take part in physical activity and get inspired to lead a more active and healthy life. It is indeed true as data suggests that employees with such facilities use a gym more often than their counterparts and as a result perform better at work. This has a direct correlation with the productivity of employees and business growth.
On the other hand, others believe that while some employees may appreciate the opportunity to join a gym or sports club at a reduced cost, this approach may not work for everyone. For example, some staff members may feel uncomfortable exercising in front of their colleagues or may not have the time or inclination to participate in these activities. Additionally, some workers may have existing health conditions that make certain forms of exercise unsafe or difficult. Furthermore, while exercise is important for maintaining good health, it is not the only factor that affects productivity. The office could also consider other factors that may impact their staff's health, such as providing healthy food options in the workplace or encouraging good sleep habits.
In my opinion, employers should be cautious about offering funded fitness centre memberships. While some employees may benefit from these programs, they may not be suitable for everyone, and the costs associated with providing these programs may not always be justified. Employers should instead consider a holistic approach to promoting employee health and well-being that takes into account a range of factors, including physical activity, nutrition, sleep, and mental health.
In conclusion, while assisted sports centres and gymnasium membership may seem like a good way to improve employee health and productivity, the benefits of this approach may be overstated. Employers should consider other factors that may impact their staff's health and well-being, and take a holistic approach to promoting employee health in the workplace.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb structure Original: transform their employees to be more healthy Suggested revision: make their employees healthier Why it matters: Make plus an object and adjective is the natural causative structure here.
- 2. Use plural reference Original: such gym membership Suggested revision: such memberships Why it matters: The plural form refers naturally to the memberships offered by multiple employers.
- 3. Improve the collocation Original: bring no long-term benefits despite being costly Suggested revision: offer no lasting benefits despite their cost Why it matters: Offer benefits and despite their cost form more natural collocations.
- 4. Correct the actor Original: employees Suggested revision: employers Why it matters: Employers, rather than employees, are the people described as offering the benefit.
- 5. Fix the preposition Original: to Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Membership of is the correct prepositional construction for belonging to a facility.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: get inspired to lead Suggested revision: be encouraged to lead Why it matters: Be encouraged is the more natural expression for the effect of an incentive.
- 7. Clarify the reporting clause Original: It is indeed true as data suggests that Suggested revision: Evidence suggests that Why it matters: The revision removes the faulty clause connection and introduces the claim directly.
- 8. Clarify access Original: employees with such facilities use a gym Suggested revision: employees with access to such facilities visit a gym Why it matters: This makes clear that employees have access to facilities rather than possessing them.
- 9. Use concise collocation Original: has a direct correlation with the productivity of employees Suggested revision: is directly associated with employee productivity Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural way to express the stated relationship.
- 10. Name the decision-maker Original: The office Suggested revision: Employers Why it matters: Employers are the actors who can introduce the workplace measures discussed.
- 11. Match the task wording Original: funded Suggested revision: subsidised Why it matters: Subsidised accurately describes memberships whose cost is partly supported.
- 12. Fix the noun phrase Original: assisted sports centres and gymnasium membership Suggested revision: subsidised memberships of sports centres and gyms Why it matters: The revision clearly identifies the memberships, rather than the facilities, as subsidised.
Suggested Rewrites
- transform their employees to be more healthy make their employees healthier
- such gym membership such memberships
- bring no long-term benefits despite being costly offer no lasting benefits despite their cost
- employees employers
- to of
- get inspired to lead be encouraged to lead
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its clear structure, consistent opinion, and well-developed explanation of why subsidised memberships may have limited value for some employees. The supporting view is noticeably thinner and relies on an asserted correlation rather than detailed reasoning; prioritise developing that side with a specific causal example while keeping the position precisely consistent from introduction to conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but the case for subsidised membership is less fully developed than the opposing case.
Explain how one concrete workplace fitness scheme produces measurable health and productivity gains instead of relying on an unsupported claim about data.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced and well paragraphed, with cohesive devices guiding the reader clearly through the two views and opinion.
Strengthen internal links between claims and examples while reducing reliance on standard signposts such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand".
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, but several awkward collocations reduce naturalness despite clear meaning.
Use natural formulations such as "help employees become healthier" and "subsidised gym memberships" consistently throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentences is handled accurately, with only occasional awkward or faulty constructions.
Proofread long sentences for subject choice, pronoun reference, and parallel structure so that every relationship remains exact.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.