Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
In present circumstances, there is a debate that school program should include compulsary financial education or studing should be free. However, free education system, in my opinion, is the best technique in developed society. Firstly, Free education is the effective way of teaching everyone. In some countries, however, financial education is compulsory, therefore 20 or 30 percent of its population is semi - literate. For example, USA, nowadays 30 or 45 percent of its young generation cannot afford to study in universities or colledges. They think that despite paying huge tution fees, we can find a job and earn money. It is proven if country's education system faces like this kind of problems, developing of the country will decrease. It means this country cannot connect with the world. Moreover, there’s another factor we need to consider about. In my opinion, the role of financial education is getting more important but the parents are also important and have responsibility to teach their child to learn how to manage the money. More than 70% of young people’s money are come from their parents. In addition, it has to be considered that a student might become money-mind person, talking about money all the time in class or even in a public place. It can be harmful for some students and affect their normal social life. In, Free eduacation is the best approach for students to get a good lessons and save their money for their future career
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: school program Suggested revision: the school program Why it matters: A singular, specific program needs the definite article here.
- 2. Correct spelling Original: compulsary Suggested revision: compulsory Why it matters: The adjective is misspelled.
- 3. Correct spelling Original: studing Suggested revision: studying Why it matters: The gerund is misspelled.
- 4. Add article Original: free education system Suggested revision: a free education system Why it matters: This singular countable noun phrase requires an article.
- 5. Use suitable noun Original: technique Suggested revision: approach Why it matters: Approach is more natural for describing an education policy.
- 6. Add article Original: developed society Suggested revision: a developed society Why it matters: The singular countable noun society requires an article.
- 7. Use lowercase Original: Free Suggested revision: free Why it matters: A common noun should not be capitalized after the introductory adverb.
- 8. Correct article Original: the Suggested revision: an Why it matters: This is one possible method, so the indefinite article is appropriate.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: getting Suggested revision: becoming Why it matters: Becoming is more precise for describing a gradual increase in importance.
- 10. Remove preposition Original: consider about Suggested revision: consider Why it matters: Consider takes a direct object and does not require about.
- 11. Remove article Original: the parents Suggested revision: parents Why it matters: The general plural noun does not need the definite article.
- 12. Add article Original: have responsibility Suggested revision: have a responsibility Why it matters: Responsibility is a singular countable noun in this expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- school program the school program
- compulsary compulsory
- studing studying
- free education system a free education system
- technique approach
- developed society a developed society
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response offers a few potentially relevant concerns, especially the role of parents in teaching money management. Its central argument, however, repeatedly confuses mandatory financial education with paid versus free education, so the stated position does not directly answer the question and supporting claims are often unclear. The priority is to define financial education accurately, state a direct degree of agreement, and develop two relevant reasons with clear explanations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a position, but most of the argument addresses free education rather than whether financial education should be compulsory.
Answer the exact proposition directly and develop each reason around the benefits or drawbacks of teaching financial skills at school.
Coherence and Cohesion
A broad progression from education access to parental responsibility and social concerns is visible, but the links between ideas are often unclear and paragraphing is absent.
Organise the response into a clear introduction, separate body paragraphs for distinct reasons, and a focused conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys some general ideas about education and money, but repetition, misspellings, and inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Use a smaller set of accurate topic phrases such as financial literacy, budgeting skills, and household responsibility, while checking spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence forms, but frequent agreement, article, pronoun, and clause-structure errors sometimes make meaning difficult to follow.
Prioritise complete sentence structures and accurate subject-verb agreement before adding more complex clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.