To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?
Same question Compare all 3 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
At first, it is significant to understand what is environment hazards and why is it escalating. Environment hazards mean a decrease in the quality of the environment where we are residing. Due to harmful gases such as CO 2, SO 2 emitted by industries, vehicles air is being polluted. The industries throw harmful waste products in rivers which affect the flora and fauna. Not only air and water are polluted, noise pollution has also surged. Same is the circumstances for arable lands.
So, it is clear that environmental hazards have increased not only by combustion of fuel but others factors are also responsible for it. I reckon increasing fuel price due to this reason is foolish tactics. According to the given assumption, increasing the price of fuel means not to make price common people friendly. If this manoeuvre of concern authority then they will come under fire subsequently and they cannot run the state. Transportation is a boon in the 21 st century. We cannot imagine visiting our destination on foot as we cannot afford the cost of fuel. Fuel is essential not only to transport, it is required every walk of life. For instances: cooking food, running industries etc. requires fuels.
Obviously, the poor either protest against the price or rob from those people who have purchasing power. It means unrest starts in the country. When it peaks some people loses their life and government is compelled to suspend the price increase. It is vivid that increasing price of fuel is not a solution to control environment hazards rather it unwise strategy. Increasing awareness, banning old vehicles dependency or introducing the renewable source of energy are some inevitable solution to environmental hazards.
In conclusion, the price of the fuel should not be increased rather others alternative should be deduced. Environment hazards are the common problems of people of every walk of life so, we should solve it moving ahead shoulder to shoulder.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match plural reference Original: why is it escalating Suggested revision: why they are escalating Why it matters: The pronoun and verb must agree with the plural “environmental hazards” in an embedded question.
- 2. Use adjective form Original: Environment hazards mean Suggested revision: Environmental hazards mean Why it matters: “Environmental” is the adjective needed to modify “hazards”.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: where we are residing Suggested revision: where we live Why it matters: The simpler phrase expresses the same idea more naturally.
- 4. Use precise collocation Original: throw harmful waste products in rivers Suggested revision: discharge harmful waste products into rivers Why it matters: “Discharge into” is the appropriate collocation for industrial waste entering rivers.
- 5. Use inversion Original: Not only air and water are polluted Suggested revision: Not only are air and water polluted Why it matters: A clause beginning with “not only” requires auxiliary-subject inversion.
- 6. Fix agreement Original: Same is the circumstances Suggested revision: The same is true Why it matters: The original singular-plural combination is ungrammatical.
- 7. Correct determiner Original: others factors Suggested revision: other factors Why it matters: Use “other”, not the pronoun “others”, before a noun.
- 8. Clarify cause Original: by combustion of fuel Suggested revision: because of fuel combustion Why it matters: “Because of” correctly introduces the stated cause.
- 9. Fix article agreement Original: is foolish tactics Suggested revision: is a foolish tactic Why it matters: The singular count noun requires an article and a singular form.
- 10. Clarify affordability Original: means not to make price common people friendly Suggested revision: means making fuel unaffordable for ordinary people Why it matters: The replacement states the intended affordability point in natural English.
- 11. Join ordinal Original: 21 st Suggested revision: 21st Why it matters: The ordinal suffix should be attached directly to the number.
- 12. Fix preposition Original: to transport Suggested revision: for transport Why it matters: Fuel is described as being essential “for” a purpose.
Suggested Rewrites
- why is it escalating why they are escalating
- Environment hazards mean Environmental hazards mean
- where we are residing where we live
- throw harmful waste products in rivers discharge harmful waste products into rivers
- Not only air and water are polluted Not only are air and water polluted
- Same is the circumstances The same is true
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear opposition to raising fuel prices and supports it with relevant points about other pollution sources, affordability, social consequences, and alternative measures. However, several claims are exaggerated or only briefly asserted, and persistent grammatical and lexical errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to replace speculative consequences with a balanced explanation of why broader policies would address pollution more effectively than a fuel-price increase.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear opinion is sustained and supported by several relevant reasons and alternatives, but development is uneven and some social consequences are implausibly overstated.
Compare the likely effect of higher fuel prices with one or two alternative policies using realistic, fully explained consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is divided into purposeful paragraphs and follows a broadly logical argument, though some links are abrupt and individual paragraphs contain loosely connected points.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and order its supporting sentences from cause to consequence.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for environmental and policy issues, but frequent errors in collocation, word form, and register undermine precision.
Prefer accurate combinations such as environmental hazards, governing authority, renewable energy sources, and viable alternatives over forced idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent agreement, article, plural, word-order, and missing-verb errors reduce accuracy and occasionally impede meaning.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and completeness, especially after adding subordinate clauses or paired structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?
Your response
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