The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer.
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
The beginning of a new era, 21st century, brings the question to anyone's mind "whether it is the beginning of a great shift?" Well, in my opinion, the changes will definitely bring a revolution to the mankind. As the world is progressing towards the new and sophisticated technologies and inventions, our lives are becoming easier and more relaxed. The mode of communication is faster and cheaper as compared to early times. In a fraction of a second, information can be transferred to the distant part of the world. All thanks go to the user-friendly applications, like the email feature, that are being invented for the welfare of mankind. In this new century, communication would be free of charge and more interactive. Secondly, the technology in this century will improve the quality of health care facilities given to an individual beyond expectations. The health care professionals will be more qualified and adept. Due to the advancement of the research facilities, many deadly diseases will be eradicated. The quality of life would be significantly better and our lifespan would increase. Finally, space research in this century would unfurl some answers we have been seeking for a long. Maybe at the end of this century human would be ready to live on another planet. But all these improvement and marvel would not come without the cost. There is no doubt that human would become somewhat slaves in the hand of technology. Their personal lives would be greatly affected by the over usage of technology. More powerful weapons and the threat of nuclear war would be a great concern for the world population in this century. To conclude, this era would bring many marvellous discoveries to our life but at the same time, the perils of nuclear war would be a great anxiety for peace lovers all around the world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: a new era, 21st century, Suggested revision: a new era, the 21st century, Why it matters: The name of the century requires the definite article here.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: brings the question to anyone's mind Suggested revision: raises the question in everyone's mind Why it matters: “Raises the question” is the natural collocation in this context.
- 3. Fix indirect question Original: "whether it is the beginning of a great shift?" Suggested revision: whether it is the beginning of a great shift Why it matters: An embedded whether-clause is not a direct question and needs neither quotation marks nor a question mark.
- 4. Remove article Original: to the mankind Suggested revision: to mankind Why it matters: “Mankind” is used without an article in this general sense.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: the new and sophisticated technologies Suggested revision: new and sophisticated technologies Why it matters: The plural noun refers to technology generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 6. Correct adjective choice Original: relaxed Suggested revision: comfortable Why it matters: Lives can be comfortable, whereas “relaxed” more naturally describes people or an atmosphere.
- 7. Fix comparison form Original: as compared to early times Suggested revision: than in earlier times Why it matters: A comparative adjective is followed naturally by “than,” and “earlier times” is the correct form.
- 8. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The sentence refers to an unspecified distant location, so it needs “a.”
- 9. Use formal phrasing Original: All thanks go to Suggested revision: This is largely thanks to Why it matters: The replacement expresses the causal link more naturally in an academic essay.
- 10. Keep future tense Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: The essay predicts the future directly, so “will” is consistent with the surrounding claims.
- 11. Improve collocation Original: facilities given to an individual Suggested revision: services provided to individuals Why it matters: Health care is more naturally described as services provided to people.
- 12. Use concise phrasing Original: advancement of the research facilities Suggested revision: advancement of research Why it matters: The claim concerns progress in research itself rather than improvement to physical facilities.
Suggested Rewrites
- a new era, 21st century, a new era, the 21st century,
- brings the question to anyone's mind raises the question in everyone's mind
- "whether it is the beginning of a great shift?" whether it is the beginning of a great shift
- to the mankind to mankind
- the new and sophisticated technologies new and sophisticated technologies
- relaxed comfortable
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, wide-ranging forecast and maintains a consistent view, with relevant discussion of communication, health care, space exploration, and technological risks. Its main limitation is that several ideas are asserted rather than illustrated in depth, while recurring article, agreement, and collocation problems reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer predictions with specific examples while editing sentence-level grammar and word combinations more carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question directly through several relevant predictions and maintains a clear overall perspective on their benefits and risks.
Develop the most important predictions with specific examples and fuller explanation instead of moving quickly through several assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress in a generally logical sequence with clear signposting, but the response is presented as one long paragraph despite distinct thematic stages.
Separate the introduction, major prediction groups, drawbacks, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs while retaining the clear progression.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations and word-form choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Prioritise accurate combinations such as advances in research, excessive use of technology, and at a cost rather than forcing less natural expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, although errors in articles, agreement, plurals, and modal consistency recur.
Edit systematically for countable-noun agreement, article use, and consistent future forms, especially in sentences containing several clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.